Love Never Dies, Andrew Lloyd Webber's unanticipated sequel to The Phantom of the Opera, debuted to decidedly mixed reviews in London, though not viciously bad enough to make theatergoers in America anticipate a campy disaster. In this case, the general response seems to be a shrug.

Despite being the continuation of arguably the biggest musical hit of all time, almost no one seemed excited by this project. Even hardcore fans (who dub themselves "phanatics") complained it was a bad idea.

Taking place ten years after the original, Love is set in Coney Island, where the Phantom calls himself Mr. Y (!) and runs an extravaganza called the Phantasma. (See how awful that is? They were so close to genuine disaster.) Naturally, he tries to lure Christine back into his clutches.

Between The Godfather and The Sopranos, representation of mafia in the media has been straighter than a bow and arrow in a meat locker. I mean, sure, there are the warm, familiar cheek kisses between the Made and unmade and the link, but never has the Italian stereotype been characterized as anything other than particularly, well, geigh.

...Until now.

We are all a Golden Girl. Before Sex and the City and Will and Grace and Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, there lived a quartet of four actresses who shape-shifted cartoonish stereotypes of otherwise-not-so-far-reaching descriptions of gay men (and, o-kayyy, women, too). Needless to say (but I will again), we are all a Golden Girl.

The sauciest gals in Dade County -- Dorothy, Rose, Sophia, and Blanche (Bea Arthur, Betty White, Estelle Getty, and Rue McClanahan, respectively) -- revolutionized television in their treatment of women in their sunset years as anything but tepid, old biddies. Consequently, the show also provided gay audiences with a source of highly intelligent, outlandishly funny, and gay-friendly scripts that continue to earn a loyal following on WEtv and in real life, where top-notch Golden Girl tattoos have made their way around the Internet.

If you haven't already paid tribute to your favorite Girl in permanent ink yet, here's a guide to which one (if not all four) would ideally sit on your flesh for the rest of your life.

So the morally upstanding bungholes at the Traditional Values Coalition want you to know that the passage of the Employment Non-Discrimination Act means that OMG DRAG QUEENS WILL BE TEACHING YOUR CHILDREN HOW TO LIPSYNCH TO BARBRA, SPECIFICALLY HER DISAPPOINTING '90s ALBUMS.

Their latest e-mail on the subject was too hilarious not to share, starting with this graphic, complete with "gathering storm" outside:



Alarmist copy, after the jump:

Even Heidi Montag can manage to be non-annoying as she teams up with director Ron Howard to plead for financial reform. Wisely, this video features Montag's irritating husband Spencer Pratt only in a brief, non-speaking role.

Heidi Montag Says No to Plastic from Heidi Montag

Now that gays are parenting children on hit ABC sitcoms, more gays are going to be allowed to parent more children on more sitcoms. That is, we think this thing called It Takes a Village is going to be a sitcom. (Because, honestly, a drama with this kind of title has the potential to make vintage '90s show Providence look like The Wire.)

Tall homosexual actor Cheyenne Jackson (30 Rock) has joined the cast of the pilot playing the boyfriend of a guy who used to be married to King of Queens star Leah Remini. Together, with Remini's boyfriend, the foursome will help annoy the hell out of a teenager who didn't ask to be born!

P.S. You know what "pilot" means in TV language, right? It means you will never see it on an actual television unless the network orders more episodes. If that happens, we'll make sure to tell you. If it doesn't, then we're going to pretend we never heard about it.

I've always believed that if you're gonna remake an old movie, remake one that didn't work all that well. That way, you don't have to compete with a classic, and you can still capitalize on the fact that people might remember the first one with some fondness even if they don't think of the old movie as being particularly good.

Taylor Swift has wowed critics and fans alike with her chirpy, All-American ditties. And the Taylor Choo-Choo Express keeps on a'chuggin, finally receiving its turn in the cultural zeitgeist as an adorable video subverted by gay men ("Party In The Fire Island Pines," anybody?).

Here, "You Belong With Me" is interpreted in a precious remake as a Romeo and Juliet story for the Web 2.0 set (in other words, Romeo, meet Romeo).


via Joy Engel