1. This is my favorite of your stories thus far. I simply can't stop smiling. It reminded me of the lie I cooked up for my pharmacist when I first went to buy an enema bag under orders from my first boyfriend. Of course, the pharmacist, like Ming, didn't say a word but I knew what that bastard was thinking.

Posted at 8:42PM on Mar 17th 2007 by Richard

2. ROFL! Back in my heterosexual days my wife insisted that I keep my thumbnails trimmed...

Posted at 11:36AM on Mar 21st 2007 by Ian Stewart

3. LOL. I get acrylic nails once a year, and only keep them for a month. But I get them about 2 or 3 inches longer than my fingers...No, I don't do drag. But every October for the past 4 years I've been a vampire host at a haunted house and hayride. I get them nice and pointy and then file them a little til they are sharp. This past year they saw me coming and knew exaclty what I wanted. But the three years before it, they just kinda looked at me weird. Scaring kids on the weekend was totally worth the agravation of trying to zip up my fly, put on some of my shirts and pants, and being totally celibate for the month. Of course, the haunted house and my regular job keep me so busy that month, I can't get laid anyway, with or without the nails. LOL

Posted at 3:16PM on Mar 21st 2007 by Ben

4. I chew my fingernails too. No big deal unless I leave a sharp edge.
I have a friend who mentioned in her personal ad that she had short trimmed fingernails. She got booty calls form the femmes.....

Posted at 7:35PM on Mar 21st 2007 by Carolyn in Baltimore

5. Oy. I cringe whenever I see long nails, and not just for the sake of sex, either. I'm a health care professional, and way back in school, in microbiology class, we took cultures from under our fingernails. It was appalling what grew from under my (very clean!) nails. Since then, I not only keep mine quite short, I also hate it when I have to be the recipient of health care from anyone with long talons.

Posted at 8:14PM on Mar 21st 2007 by Connie

6. Connie: I'm so glad to know that my short nails are actually healthier for me! This is the best news I've heard all day. And Carolyn, thanks for reassuring me that I'm not the only grown-up nail biter around. Ben, you cracked me up with your comment about not getting laid... the pointy nails sound... well, injurious. (I don't know if that's the right word but you know what I mean). And Richard: thank you. :-D

Posted at 9:26PM on Mar 21st 2007 by Kevyn

7. I agree with the first comment. Great story. Nicely written.

I had to wear press-on french nails once for a photoshoot. I am an art director and one of my clients was so cheap they wouldn't hire hand models. Fortunately (for them) I inherited my mom's graceful hands but had gnawed my nails down over the years for amusement and my girlfriend.

For any butch out there wanting to get in touch with her/his feminine side I highly recommend them—over make-up even. The rest of the day I just flitted around town, gesturing madly and feeling the need to be pampered by everyone. I felt totally hot and my girlfriend agreed.

Of course, the next day I couldn't wait to get those skanky things off. They're a bitch to remove.

Posted at 9:53PM on Mar 21st 2007 by CM Harris

8. Almost forgot to tell Ian, it sounds like your wife was a good communicator! :-)

Posted at 8:47AM on Mar 22nd 2007 by Kevyn

9.
LOL. this is an arguement my wife and i have atleast once a week. I always seem to have long nails, no matter how often i cut them, and she is always asking me to cut them. not that they are dirty ......i scrub them for fear of what might be growing from bactria (yes i know, i cant spell!), but because they hurt her.

however, like you said, having one nail shorter than the rest can require explainations.(some good excuses - " i use that finger for all my dialing".......it just broke")

here is a helpful tip for those who like to keep long nails and not hurt their partner.......instead of having them shaped square, have them shaped more rounded on the corners, and for the specail fingers have them cut slightly shorter and totally rounded. it is a good compromise and no one is bothered, and no explainations are needed.

Posted at 10:46AM on Mar 22nd 2007 by faye

10. "Almost forgot to tell Ian, it sounds like your wife was a good communicator! :-)"

Yeah, subtlety was never her strong point...:)

I have "pianist's fingers" (i.e. long and slender). It's kind of embarrassing when she would make comments about "magic fingers" in front of friends or family :o

Posted at 12:38PM on Mar 22nd 2007 by Ian Stewart

11. Now thats a story. I know that one nail in particular would have hurt(at least it would've hurt me) Its not like you could put a band aid on it (if you know what I mean)
I'm not the type of gal to wear long nails. Not my style. If I was with someone, I wouldn't mind "mini" nails. If Ming didn't ask any questions, maybe its because she may have had the same problem, before

Posted at 3:19PM on Mar 22nd 2007 by chipper

12. YOu could have told Ming it was your best booger picking finger and it was causing your nose to bleed.

Posted at 11:02AM on Mar 24th 2007 by Rural Lesbian

13. You know I've actually had a couple girlfriends who liked nails & wanted me to grow mine out more. One just never knows!

Posted at 1:42PM on Mar 24th 2007 by FrancesM

14. oh my. LOL @ Ben. Talk about taking one for the team. True heart but i guess it was worth it.

Kevyn »» loved your story, feel like there should be a part two to it. Hugs. Let us know if you do take up the violin k?

:)

Posted at 9:47PM on Apr 8th 2007 by Andrew

15. Now thats a story. I know that one nail in particular would have hurt(at least it would've hurt me) Its not like you could put a band aid on it (if you know what I mean)
I'm not the type of gal to wear long nails. Not my style. If I was with someone, I wouldn't mind "mini" nails. If Ming didn't ask any questions, maybe its because she may have had the same problem, before

Posted at 11:41PM on Apr 13th 2007 by chipper