The James McGreevey saga has more legs than Snow White and her seven little perverts.
And the latest chapter in this gay epic will certainly not be the last.
In my fantasy, former New Jersey First Lady Dina Matos McGreevey would have gone up against Ellen or Rosie. Oh! The poetry! Oh! The irony! But sadly it is not to be. Oprah's producers have officially confirmed that they've bagged the interview of the year and the soon-to-be ex-wife of gay American James McGreevey will plant her tush on the famous couch and tell all about her queer hubby, Larry Kramer's new crush.
The date has not yet been announced but it will be "later this Spring." Mrs. Matos McGreevey will be promoting her new book, "Silent Partner"-- billed as "a story of a marriage that was anything but happily-ever- after, told by a strong and resilient woman who can, and finally will, speak for herself." The book is due out on May 1 and the author is already scheduled to sign copies and answer questions at Barnes & Noble on Route 22 in her hometown of Springfield, New Jersey, so it is certain that her Oprah appearance will occur before the end of April.
[Update: The March 29 "Philadelphia Inquirer" reports that Dina will do Oprah on May 1 and then follow it up with a two-part encounter with Diane Sawyer on the May 2 and 3 editions of Good Morning America.]
The New York Times estimates that there are between 1.7 and 3.4 million American women who once were or are now married to "men who have sex with men."
Now before you go all political over the "men having sex with men" phrase, you need to understand that for most closeted married men this is how they see themselves, not as gay. Identifying with being gay usually comes later. In fact, the night I came out to my own wife, I could not simply say "I am gay." The best I could do after several hours of struggle was to say "I prefer to have sex with men."
So, on the night I came out, November 14, 1989, Liliane Rothstein, my then wife of 18 years, learned that she was one of the 1.7 to 3.4 million women who was married to a "man who has sex with men."
When we talk about the closet, we rarely if ever talk about the wives, a remarkably selfish posture. Dina Matos McGreevey may be the first wifely victim of the closet to assume such a high profile position in the public consciousness and this will likely lead to a media frenzy on the subject--and it may not be all that gay friendly.
Dina and my ex-wife Liliane are certainly in heroic and courageous company: Constance Wilde (Mrs. Oscar Wilde,) Phyllis Gates (Mrs. Rock Hudson,) Linda Porter (Mrs. Cole Porter,) Renata Blauel (Mrs. Elton John,) and Queen Anne (Mrs. King James I of England, the gay man responsible for the King James Bible.)
The Times article, albeit limited in content and depth by the limitations of newspaper real estate, provided a damned good review, in my opinion, of how and why straight women and gay men marry. It's easy for us to joke about beards and cover stories, but in reality this sort of marriage is a complex and powerful human relationship that permanently changes the lives of both spouses and almost always involves a very meaningful and lasting love--with the obvious exception of the McGreevey's and other high profile public couples. I suspect that without the luxury of time and privacy, these public couples are never given the opportunity to dress the wounds and nurture what was usually a powerful and loving bond.
One of the most common questions I'm asked when straight and gay people learn that I was married to a woman for over 18 years is "Did you love her?" I'm always surprised by this question, no matter how often I'm asked. "Of course," is the answer. "And I still do."
For over 34 years (including 18 married years) we have loved each other deeply. We shared each other's lives, each other's interests. We enjoyed each other's differences and eccentricities. We laughed at life's absurdities. We fought side by side against so many of life's endless challenges. Sure, sex sucked but perhaps it's like being blind or deaf; your other senses are heightened.
In fact, The Times article discusses the complex nature of relationship love, noting that when the sexual aspect is minimized, oftentimes the other aspects are strengthened and enduring. The article also explains that even though one or both spouses may not know that the man is gay when they enter into the marriage, they are likely both aware on some level that sexual passion is not important to either one of them and this in itself provides a very powerful and unusual bond and safe harbor.
Furthermore, they share unspoken understandings and emotions that would not otherwise be possible, areas that are unknown to other relationships, unspoken bonds between a straight woman and a gay man that are undeniably unique.
THE COMING OUT CRISIS
When a gay man finally decides to come out to his wife, it's a moment he's prepared for, in some cases over the course of his entire life, but in all cases, he's worked up to it, he's had time to prepare for this new reality. In most cases, he's chosen the time and the place, he's rehearsed the scene many times in his head. Furthermore, he sees it as the beginning of a new life, a mentally healthier life (or so he hopes,) the pursuit of wholeness as a human being. He goes into it prepared and on his own terms.
For most wives, with exceptions like Mrs. Porter, Mrs. Wilde and Mrs. Gest, it's a complete shock. Within minutes, her belief system is shattered, her life is crumbling around her and her future has just become a gaping void.
But the fact is that in many such cases the gay man and his wife are best friends, sharing an emotional and intellectual bond that is often the envy of gay and straight couples alike. And in most cases, the gay husband finds himself playing two critical roles simultaneously: the man who has just shattered her dreams and the man who is her best friend and will do all he can to help her through the crisis.
Liliane and I took about three years to work through the most painful issues, disappointments and new perspectives, but some 17 years later, Liliane is my best friend, she's my family, she's my go-to person and, even after two boyfriends, she remains my "in case of emergencies" person. She's my living will person. I can't think of anyone I would trust more.
Perhaps one of the keys to understanding the enduring nature of this relationship is the simple fact that unlike my other long and short term relationships, my relationship with Liliane didn't go wrong and it didn't end because it was in trouble in any of the customary ways.
I can't speak for other gay men in this situation, but speaking for myself, I'd have to say that as politically incorrect as it might seem, closeted gay men who were married to women, despite the terrible pain and disruption, are blessed with a very special gift even though we speak little of it and often mock and condemn it as dysfunctional and broken.
In fact, one of the most extraordinary outcomes of the marriage, the coming out crisis and the subsequent post coming out relationship, is that it would be hard to find two people who know each other as well and have shared such an extraordinary and intimate experience.
And not only do I still love Liliane, but I don't regret our marriage on any level. It was an amazing relationship; sexually limited but nonetheless extremely important and beautiful.
When Katherine Hepburn as Eleanor of Aquitaine in The Lion in Winter (one of my all time favorite flics) was contemplating her own family history of adultery, incest, homosexuality, murder and betrayal she sighed and said, "Oh well, every family has its ups and downs."
Indeed they do. And Liliane and I have endured much over many decades; few couples are stronger.
I would hope that the soon to be very public "he said-she said" Matos-McGreevey war does not leave America with an ugly and false view of the millions of men and women who have struggled with a closet marriage and its aftermath, both the good and the bad.
One of the most distressing and complex aspects of the Closet for gay men and women who were in a straight marriage is the anguish caused to the straight ex-spouse by the "coming out" process.
Coming out for a married man or woman with any sense of dignity, decency and compassion is a process that must account for the pride, dignity, privacy and rights of an ex-spouse. It's one thing to speak publicly of the joys and successes of that relationship, but it is quite another to detail it's failures and problems--especially without the consent of the ex-spouse.
The new hero of gay rights, James McGreevey, in my view, brutalized his wife. His tell-all memoir and publicity campaign was a betrayal of Mrs. McGreevey. She was exposed to wave after wave of public humiliation and invasion of her privacy.
For whatever his reasons, McGreevey's book and his media tour took precedence over the feelings, privacy and dignity of his wife and children.
The media and the gay community have thus far given James McGreevey pretty much of a free pass on this. Hopefully Oprah and Dina Matos-McGreevey will address this travesty and bring some much needed balance and understanding to the James McGreevey saga.
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Comments:
(34)Add a comment
Wednesday 28 March
By Charlotte Redman
Good post - thoughtful, open, and probably my favorite of yours so far. Thanks for sharing your story.
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Wednesday 28 March
By Richard
Charlotte: Thanks. My ex-wife also said it was her favorite so far. :)
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Wednesday 28 March
By Meredith
Thanks for confirming my own opinion of Mr. McGreevey. I remember watching Mrs. McGreevey stand by her husband during one of the press conferences after "the disclosure" and my heart broke for her.
As a "straight spouse" of a man who came out to me one ordinary Sunday morning spent like all the previous Sunday mornings of our 12 year marriage, I had the refuge of my own home for privacy and control over who would know and what would happen next. Instead, Mrs. McGreevey stood like the proverbial deer in the spotlight of press and politics. Alone.
I could only wonder what it was like for her as the self-serving Mr. McGreevey celebrated his new relationship, rationalized behavior that was unethical, disrespectful and selfish, and chatted about how happy he was on the Oprah Show.
Like you and your ex-wife, my spouse and I took a few years to sort out what should and would happen next. We had children to consider. I think that helped us step outside of each of our individual sets of needs to work together in reshaping a new relationship and a new construct for our family. After all, straight, gay or "mixed" families are families and each of us has a role to play.
Those early days were terribly hard though. My ex-husband had a whole support system and community that welcomed him with (literally) open arms. :-) There was no easily accessible network then for wives of "men who prefer sex with men" or for that matter, husbands of "women who prefer sex with women."
Thank you for your thoughtful entry.
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Wednesday 28 March
By mark
Arianna Huffington?
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Wednesday 28 March
By atheist
Excellent article; cognisant of all the shades of grey inherent in this difficult situation...
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Wednesday 28 March
By Karen Fauls-Traynor
Amazing article. As the former wife of a gay man, I am so gratified to read anything acknowledging the difficulty of the straight spouse left behind. After 21 yrs of marriage and three children, I discovered my husband way gay and involved with another married man. He never intended to tell me and blames me for the breakup for our marriage. I admire you and your ex-wife for remaining friends. If my husband had had the sense of honesty and integrity you had about your situation, we might have been able to do the same. I look forward to reading Dina's book--along with the rest of the nation, my heart went out to her when she stood by her husband as he so self-servingly "came clean" to the public.
The straight spouse is as much in the closet as the gay spouse and more awareness needs to be given to this issue. I found incredible support throught the Straight Spouse Support Network (www.straightspouse.org) which has online resources and support groups. Without the help of people who knew what I was going through, I don't know if I would have survived. I hope Mrs. McGreevey had the same.
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Wednesday 28 March
By Karen Fauls-Traynor
Amazing article. As the former wife of a gay man, I am so gratified to read anything acknowledging the difficulty of the straight spouse left behind. After 21 yrs of marriage and three children, I discovered my husband way gay and involved with another married man. He never intended to tell me and blames me for the breakup for our marriage. I admire you and your ex-wife for remaining friends. If my husband had had the sense of honesty and integrity you had about your situation, we might have been able to do the same. I look forward to reading Dina's book--along with the rest of the nation, my heart went out to her when she stood by her husband as he so self-servingly "came clean" to the public.
The straight spouse is as much in the closet as the gay spouse and more awareness needs to be given to this issue. I found incredible support throught the Straight Spouse Support Network (www.straightspouse.org) which has online resources and support groups. Without the help of people who knew what I was going through, I don't know if I would have survived. I hope Mrs. McGreevey had the same.
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Wednesday 28 March
By Shelly
Thank you for acknowledging the pain of the str8 spouse.
Having been unknowingly married to a gay man for 17 years I feel for the anguish Dina Matos-McGreevey and other men and women in my situation face. Thank you also for the decency and compassion you showed your wife as you worked through it together. Unfortunately, as I can attest, this is often not the case.
Thankfully now there is support out there for the one on the "other side of the closet" through the Straight Spouse Network whose aim is to "Reach Out, Heal, and Build Bridges."
Shelly
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Wednesday 28 March
By Michael
Thank you for the very thoughtful post. As one who was married to a woman for 24 years before finally coming out of the closet, I share many of your thoughts and feelings. The comments on the straight spouse are especially meaningful. Neither many gay rights activists nor the proponents of "ex-gay" programs - who in my view very callously set couples up for failure in order to further a political agenda - give nowhere enough attention to the straight spouse.
Sadly, at this point, my wife and I are not on the best of terms, but I hope someday that she will understand that I never wanted to hurt her. In fact, in many ways, we were both victims of a homophobic culture that forces men go through all kinds of mental contortions in order to deny their true sexual orientation.
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Wednesday 28 March
By Richard
Mark: Good call. I'd forgotten about her.
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Wednesday 28 March
By Mary
Thank you for this. If only all gay spouses were as aware of the damage done to the straight spouse. I was married 27 years, 3 kids, he left me July06. He still hasnt come out to me or his adult children but has come out to one of my daughter in laws. The kids and I are still in his closet.
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Wednesday 28 March
By David
As a gay man who recently separated from my wife, I just wanted to thank you for your post today. I forwarded it to my (soon-to-be) ex-wife who thanked me for the forward. What you described in your post is what she and I had, have, and hope to continue to have going forward.
I know many times the straight spouse gets ignored in the whole "coming out process." The way Jim McGreevey handled his affairs is a travesty to all of us who married but ultimately divorced on good terms, and as close friends. I remember the anger my soon-to-be ex wife felt against the gay community when she thought it was embracing McGreevey with open arms. I kept reassuring her that most of the people I knew thought he was a scum-bag, but I'm not sure if she believed me. I am also clenching my teeth at the inevitable slams that some of the more popular gay blogs will dish out at Ms. McGreevey when her story is finally released. Unless they have walked in our shoes, they really have no idea what it's like.
Anyway, thanks again for your great post. I am enjoying reading your articles in your "new" locations. Please keep it up.
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Wednesday 28 March
By Christopher
As a gay man, I find myself horribly emberassed by Mr. McGreevy's actions. I just feel like he threw this poor woman to the wolves. Clearly, he is happy and relieved to be able to live a more open and honest life. However, he hurt someone who may prove to have a more significant impact on his life than any partner he might have in the future. This woman is the mother to his child and when the questions come, and as a child of divorced parents I know the questions do come, it will be she who has to answer for his actions as well as him. The pain and shame for her will last far into the future as a result of the selfish way Mr. McGreevey seems to be approaching this issue. He speaks about his experience as it should be a lesson to gay men in marriages everywhere but his actions have been less than enviable. He knew he was in the spotlight when he came out and professed his responsible approach to the issue and has ended up not being very responsible at all. This is just my view of course.
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Wednesday 28 March
By Irv Hansen
Excellent and refreshing article.
As a man who found himself married to a Lesbian, after 35 years of marriage, I find it refreshing to find a balance view of the aftermath of the coming out. It is not always the end of the world, or of the marriage. Sometimes the Mixed Orientation Marriage becomes a new kind of relationship where two people can become the proverbial 'soul mates'. And where two amazingly strong, new people can arise from the ashes.
It's tragic that many straights, who will accept the 'born gay' concept, and endorse 'gay pride' will, at the same time, find a MOM a perversion. And that so will many in the gay side of life.
But we are legion.
And I make no apology for saying:
I love my gay wife!
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Thursday 29 March
By Charlie Trainer
Thanks for sharing your experience. I'm very glad that you & your former wife are friends. I was engaged once but couldn't go through with it thankfully. James McCREEPY is a first class jerk! He is not a gay Hero or icon. He left office in disgrace because of the scandal involving the alleged sexual harrassment of his employee, he didn't resign because he was gay, he never even gave voters a chance to decide if that made a difference to them. I wish the former Mrs. McGreavey all the best with her coming book & her future life.
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Thursday 29 March
By Trillian Kent
Bravo! I was happy to read your article and the subsequent comments by several men and women who were or are married to a gay/bi/lesbian, because so often the straight spouse is shoved into the same closet that the non straight spouse came out of. I was married for 17 years before I found out that my husband is gay. We have been able to work through the issues, and I am happy to say we have a much stronger marriage today than we did before. And I now know that we are not the only couples who find that they are in a mixed-orientation relationship. If you find yourself in this situation, check out the straight spouse network, there are links from the homepage for couples who are seeking a support group as well as support for the straight spouse. You can also read the personal stories of by going here:
http://www.straightspouse.org/OutTogether.shtml
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Thursday 29 March
By Red7Eric
I tend to agree with your thoughts about James McGreevey, but hope that his ex-wife's book isn't a pure slam on gay men who marry straight women. Like McGreevey and yourself, I didn't have the benefit of growing up in an environment where my true sexuality was welcomed or given any care and feeding. I never married, but lived in complete and utter denial until the age of 25. There aren't very many welcoming or caring environments for young gay boys today, and so I imagine that gay men will continue to marry straight women for some time. In such a circumstance, both the gay man and the straight woman deserve compassion.
But you're right -- James McGreevey shouldn't have invalidated his wife's feelings with a tell-all and a media blitz. However, Mrs. McGreevey could have reacted in several ways. One option open to her was not to write a book, not to appear on Oprah. Another option would be to write a book focused on her personal story, that paints both herself and her ex-husband as flawed human beings. Another option, unfortunately, would be to write a book that paints all gay men with the same broad homophobic brush. We know she didn't take the first option; let's also hope that she didn't take the last one.
If she did, then it's entirely possible that Mrs. McGreevey and her book will be used by Falwell, Robertson, Sheldon, Savage, Schafly, and the typical homophobic coterie as another rallying cry against all gay men everywhere. And even if James McGreevey deserves the scorn, we all don't. I'm hoping that Ms. Winfrey and Ms. Sawyer don't allow Mrs. McGreevey to use her personal difficulties to lambast all of us. That might be a selfish stance, but the whole thing makes me a little nervous right about now.
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Thursday 29 March
By Richard
Red7Eric: I'm with you on this. But we won't know until May 1! In either case, I don't think Oprah will allow gay bashing.
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Saturday 31 March
By Judith Tod
Without gay-bashing, I hope that Dina has spoken for those of us who have been emotionally battered and betrayed by their gay husbands. I know that some women have been able to live in successful MOM's, and some have been able to forge new and deep friendships with their spouses. I rejoice with them.
Others of us were not given that opportunity either because the spouse was not able/willing to deal with the pain and bailed out, or because there was already a lover.
For us, it is like having a spouse half-dead. They are gone from your home and bed, your family is broken, your social life frayed,and your private life is open to the public to at least some level, not to mention your financial means and security of home are diminished. All the while your spouse is still living and loving - you might even meet him and his partner at the grocery store.
Someone needs to put a face on our lives; to put words to our grief, our broken dreams; to honour the journey that we are left alone to make; to speak of hope and personal renewal; and I hope it is Dina.
Judith T.
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Friday 30 March
By Nicholas
It appears that I take a different slant on this. I am a gay man who divorced a couple of years before I came out (reluctantly) to my ex-wife and children. I truly believe that my sexuality had to play at least a small role in the demise of my marriage but it was not the major role.
I do not view Mr. McGreevey in a bad light; certainly like the rest of the world, my heart went out to Mrs McGreevey at the infamous news conference. Previous posters here assume that the Mr. book was written without the permission of Mrs. McGreevey. I am not as certain. I felt Mr. handled his discussion of Mrs in a very dignified way and she certainly comes across as all good.
For the record, my ex-wife and I have a working relationship, when it comes to our family, etc. We share holidays with our children and extended family but we are not friends. I envy those that remain friends with ex-spouses but the reasons for divorce trump it all.
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