Frankly, I set out to write a humorous piece on same-sex ballroom dancing. The story was already composed and would have poked fun at the geeks over at Manhattan's Park Central Hotel who are twirling into town for this weekend's "5-Boro Dance Challenge." Following in the dance steps of such shows as Dancing With The Stars and So You Think You Can Dance, the latest gay incarnation of this odd phenomenon, the first 5-Boro Dance Challenge, in all of its rainbow glory, is welcoming same-sex Salsa, Swing, Tango, Foxtrot, Waltz and more to midtown Manhattan, just a hop, skip and a two-step away from Broadway.

Well what fun. Gayolicious geekorama. But as fate would have it, I instead fell in love with three of the most beautiful and charming women I've ever had the pleasure and honor to meet. Words I never imagined would ever spill from my lips: I was seduced by a trio of anatomically correct females. As I've mentioned before in other blog posts, on the sexuality spectrum of 100% heterosexual to 100% homosexual, I count myself at around 98% out of 100% at the gay end of the chart. And I give myself two percentage points short of 100 only because I've never actually fainted at the sight of an actual vagina.

Now don't go getting your knickers all in a twist. Nobody got naked and nobody had sex, But I was swept away by a display of female sensuality, grace, beauty and extraordinary power. Indeed.



Know three important things about same-sex ballroom dancing. (If you've already experienced same-sex ballroom dancing live then you already know.)

1. Same sex ballroom dancing has an astonishing vocabulary of its own. It's not about a man substituting for a woman or a woman substituting for a man. Not at all. It is most certainly a uniquely queer visual poetry.

2. As is obviously the case with music and theater, live performances have a palpable magic that simply cannot be understood or experienced indirectly. If you've ever been to a great Broadway musical or a Madonna concert you know exactly what I mean. Film and video versions are weak and muted versions at best.

3. The passion, physicality and sensuality of same-sex partner dancing transcends gender and sexual categorization. This is not gay dancing, this is a celebration of two people of like gender who come together to form something exceptionally grander and more powerful than just two people together.

You can easily find endless photographs and videos of these men and women in fantastic and outrageous costumes so I went behind the scenes and met with several of the performers who were practicing their routines and charting out the ballroom space hours before the official festivities were to begin. No costumes, no done hair and no painted faces. Ballroom dancing "unplugged".

Much to my delight, I met two celebrity veteran professional ballroom dancers, both men who have taken prizes and medals in national and international competitions. I expected the gay Ballroom dancing version of Trekkies, Instead I got two world class professional athletes and artists who are at the top of their form. As I watched Stuart Nichols and Richard Lamberty defy gravity and turn space into physical poetry I quickly realized that my prejudices and stereotypes about ballroom dancing were borderline criminal.

Stuart and Richard, who are both gay, also gave me an important lesson in same-sex ballroom dancing when I made a reference to the gay and lesbian performers. Further defying the stereotype, many of the women and men are straight, expanding their art and their skills as they explore the unique vocabulary of same sex dance pairs movement.

And then I met three lesbians and quickly forgot about the cute boys. Sorry Stuart and Richard. Normally I ignore lesbians when boys are about, but my eye wandered, much against my will and habit.

Camille Wojtasiak, with an MBA from the University of California, Barnaly Pande, a PhD in genetics and Mo McDonald are a threesome--no, not that way (although the very masculine Camille expressed some disappointment in that regard.) Camille partners with both Barnaly and Mo for different dance styles; mostly Latin with Mo and the more romantic dances with Barnaly.

As I watched these women move individually and in pairs my biases, preferences and frames of reference waltzed right out of the room.

I was entranced by the sensual grace and beauty and power of these three women as they explored the dance floor.

Camille is the kind of lesbian I hate, a woman who is obviously female--even earth motherish--but butch enough to set my heart aflutter. Don't you hate when that happens? Barnaly and Mo oozed with an almost seditious femininity and when these women danced for me, I, for the first time in my life, understood how Salome was able to seduce Herod into delivering John's head on that infamous silver platter. It wasn't about Salome's sexual allure, it was about the magic, mystery and power of dance.

And that is just how powerful and transcendent same sex ballroom dancing can be. And no I did not and never would want to see the vagina of any of these women, but my heart was racing and would have raced for hours if not for the fact that it was time to clear the floor and prepare for the evening's official events.

If you're in New York City today or tomorrow, I would urge you to hustle on over to the Grand Ballroom of the Park Central Hotel at 870 7th Avenue. Alternatively, there's a substantial schedule of same-sex dance events throughout the year in a wide number of cities and countries. Go. Overcome your fear of the supposed geeky and go.

And these events, like the New York event, deliver drag queens, competitions, partying, exhibitions and all the hot queers a girl or boy could every want,. But, at the heart of it all you'll find something unexpected and truly amazing: The athletic and magnificent poetry of same sex couples entwined in a truly unique and spectacular language of music and movement that must surely be the handiwork of Terpsichore herself.

And a very special thanks to Solomon Singer for his part in my discovery of same sex ballrooom dancing! You can click on the poster below and learn much more. Do so or I'll Paso Double all over your head.