Remember how I said everything is gayer in French? Well that's for damn sure! Just check out this hot news reporter that one of my readers sent to me. The reporter's name is Melissa Theuriau and I'm officially adding her to the *women I wish were lezzy* list. I'm sure everyone reading this in Europe is already hip to the jive, so I don't have to school you. But to the rest of us who were in the dark for so very long, I apologize and I make it up to by giving you this:


Since I know a lot of you reading this are not fluent in French, I will give a translation summary for the following video. There is a bit of paraphrasing and


poetic license. But I think you will all agree that this must be what's being said:


Introduction by "Other chick":

"Coming up, I will be speaking with super hot Melissa Theuriau and I will see how long it will take me to convince her to meet me back at my hotel room that I keep in the city for such special occasions as this. I am guessing 2-3 hours, but hopefully it will be far less.

She is approaching me now and I must say that she is even more incredibly luscious in person so this might be harder for me than I originally thought. Cross all of your fingers."

Other chick: "Hello Melissa. Your jeans are truly sexy and outrageously. You must work out ALL day long. Tell me. Is it true? Wait...before you answer, let me just inform you that I would like for you to meet me at my hotel room in 2 to 3 hours. That's 2 to 3 hours. It's the one I mentioned in the green room."
Melissa: "I see. I was not aware that you were serious. I thought that it was some sort of university type prank that they play on the freshmen. Had I known you were serious, I would have not made plans to have dinner with certain "people"...of the male persuasion. I'm sure you can relate. That is the way the cookie does crumble."

Other chick: "Tell them that you have "work" to do. They will easily believe this."
Melissa: "Ok, I can try it. It's true they are quite gullible."

Other chick (to camera): "Well then it's settled. Melissa and I will be "working" at my hotel room, while we listen to some 2pac. The older stuff, you know, from way back when. The kind my mama used to blast when she was vacuuming."

(At this point, they show a clip of Melissa talking with another interviewer. My French is a bit rusty and they are using some higher level vernacular. So while I can't make everything out, the gist of it is, Melissa promised this chick to also meet her at another hotel room in the city. Thinking this too was a freshman prank, she turned her down as well. She's now apologizing and hoping something can be arranged in the way of a 'raincheck'.)

Other chick: "Do you remember being asked to this b*tch's hotel room too?? You better be cleaning up this mess before you wreck yourself?"
Melissa: "Did you see the woman's...assets?? I was hypnotized by her. I didn't know what was happening. Obviously, I was caught off guard. I never meant you any disrespect. I will make it up to you in every way possible. I work well with pastries and ice cubes."

Other chick: "I enjoy chocolate products. They can be much fun, no?"
Melissa: "There's only one way to find out my friend."

For the rest of the interview, they discuss the ingredients of certain desserts and tonics that will be used at the hotel. They further discuss the rules of the role playing games they want to play and decide on a "safe" word.

The safe word is "Arlan."

Ahem.