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Adam Sandler Demurely Declines "Gay Icon" Status

Immodestly denying his well-earned place in the pantheon of gay icons, Adam Sandler has been promoting the international release of Chuck & Larry with claims that he's ready to fight for gay rights. We haven't had a gay icon champion of this stature since...well...since He-Man!

Last night he told the Mexico City media that he would like to work alongside gay-rights groups after starring in this year's "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry." He then upchucked 35 body shots of Jose Cuervo.

In Mexico with co-star Kevin James to promote the film's opening in theaters here, Sandler told a news conference: "If I can help anybody in any way, I certainly would."

But AP reports that the 41-year-old comedian stopped short of calling himself a potential gay icon.

"I don't think that's gonna happen, dude, certainly not," Sandler said. "If I was a gay man, I wouldn't want me to represent" the gay community.

Are you sure about that Adam? Such humility! The gay community is desperate for a guy who can deliver a good fart joke.

I can easily imagine you up there with Judy Garland, Elton John and Larry Kramer. Which reminds me, Adam, you should give Mr. Kramer a call. I hear he wants to raise his fist in gratitude for the work you did to dispel homophobia and gay stereotypes in Chuck & Larry.

Sandler even admitted to the Associated Press that he rather enjoyed his first on camera gay kiss. It was "not bad. He was clean, and he seemed to brush his teeth and all that," Sandler said.

Well, if that doesn't qualify Mr. Sandler for gay icon status, I don't know what will. Oh, Adam, you had me at your brilliant portrayal of satyrism.

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