Here's a big fat follow-up to Lesbians Are Fat And Andrew Sullivan Is A Big Puss. Once again, the reader comments have prompted me to do more work. This time it was a suggestion from my friend JAM to look into The Beauty Myth, by Naomi Wolf. Just to clarify, JAM is a "Queersighted reader friend", not a "real friend", like on MySpace.

Wolf's basic argument is that women are pressured to conform to an idealized concept of female beauty. Yes, thank you fashion magazines, beauty pageants, Paris Hilton, and Eileen Chaiken. Even Jane Fonda, who had women everywhere working out to her exercise videos in the 1980's, admitted years later that between takes she was barfing up breakfast. She also added something about "good genes", in other words, "Let's face it, I was born beautiful". Jane Fonda is actually trying to help women by finally telling the truth. We're not all born beautiful. Some of us are heavier than others because we didn't get Jane's "good genes". Some of us will never be able to exercise our our way into a size 4. Jane's one of the few aging actresses who hasn't nipped and tucked her face into a permanent expression of surprise. I like her.

Look, I lost 30 pounds and feel pretty good about myself, but if I saw "style guru" Tim Gunn at a party, I would crawl through a heating duct to avoid Tim's "finger to the mouth, old queen look of dissaproval". (I love Tim Gunn and old queens, please don't write in)

Gay Republican and lesbian obesity expert, Andrew Sullivan, also weighed in, Naomi Wolf style ... "My hunch is that without shallow, physically-oriented men to appeal to, many lesbians feel even less need to stay in shape than many straight women do." My hunch is that Andrew is right and my other hunch is that Andrew's mother should have told him not to scratch his ass on National TV.

Andy's rump roast aside, it's true that lesbians are less likely to worry about what men think. We don't have to be slaves to society's demands for female physical perfection like our straight sisters. Andrew said it, so you know it's a no-brainer.

I thought it was a no-brainer until I remembered the 1958 sci-fi thriller, Queen of Outer Space. Here's a quick synopsis for those of you who haven't seen this classic chick flick. Earth men land on the planet Venus, which as we all know, is inhabited by Amazons (AKA Lesbians). Here's where I win the argument with JAM. If Venus is a planet of Amazon women and there are no men, why are these women wearing mini-skirts, high heels, push-up bras and big hair? I see your Naomi Wolf and raise you Zsa Zsa Gabor!



Granted, Queen of Outer Space was set in the year 1985, when most people were hopped up on cocaine and poppers, so it could be that the spacemen only thought they were on Venus. That actually happened to me once. Clearly I have won my debate with JAM. But wait ... she's offered a second challenge.

"As my GF says 'The west coast has designer bodies (a la L-Word) and the east coast has designer minds' (and dinner parties)."

Touché JAM! You served and I shall volley. This study from UCLA School of Public Health, bases it's findings on a sample group of lesbians and bisexual women in Los Angeles. I lived in LA for 15 years, so I know there are fat lesbians there. I was one of them. We only think there are no fat lesbians in LA because of The L Word. None of the beloved characters on The L Word are fat. They're not fat and most of them aren't real lesbians, they just play lesbians on TV. I watch the show just for those moments when they shoot scenes on Olivia Cruise ships. We see the actresses surrounded by real lesbians and it's like a "what's wrong with this picture" puzzle.

I'd love to know if The L Word creator, Eileen Chaiken, ever read Naomi Wolf. Judging from her L Word Fashion website, she's definitely read Tim Gunn's Guide To Style. I buy all my clothes from the L Word website. I'm wearing a little outfit right now called, "Tina: The Peri-Menopausal Years". The L Word has given us a great gift. Pretty soon we'll be hearing about lesbians barfing up breakfast so they can look like Shane and we won't have an obesity crisis. We'll have a lesbian bulimia crisis. Thanks Eileen.

I'm starving, so I'll wrap it all up for you. Most women suffer from some form of body image anxiety. Women are more likely to suffer from obesity than men. It's harder for women to lose weight than men. Generally speaking, men, both straight and gay, are less forgiving of physical imperfections than women. Lesbians are partnered with other women who are, for better or worse, more forgiving and understanding of physical imperfections. Lesbians are twice as likely to suffer from obesity than heterosexual women. Obesity is dangerous to your health for a number of reasons. Lesbians have too many pot lucks. Venus is populated by lesbians. Jane Fonda is still hot. The L Word is a stupid show. You Tube is awesome. Andrew Sullivan is still a big, fat, puss. Jam ... Game. Set. Match. I win.