Can an entire American political party be based on homophobia? It would seem so. No, smarty pants, not the Republicans. They have a whole array of other issues to focus on: Iraq, terrorism, Islam, Shiism, Sunniism, Iran, the Koran and that 700-mile-long wall along the U.S.-Mexican border that will save us from an epidemic of mothers with starving children intent on destroying our economy.

No, we're talking about an entirely new third party. Of course, single issue parties aren't new. We already have the Green Party, for example. And many of our older readers may remember the Mugwumps, but this new third party will have numbers and financial clout that will make it a force to contend with.

So while many of us were horrified when our most powerful military leader, General Peter Pace told Congress that queers are immoral, light bulbs went off for the evangelicals. An idea was born. President General Pace. After all, if you have the courage and moral fortitude to take a very public stance against abominations, you've got the right stuff for leader of the free world.

As you've likely heard by now the Evangelicals are disgusted with the Republican offerings for 2008. George W. Bush set the bar way too high, almost as high as an axle in a trailer park. Giuliani? Does drag. Romney? Christian wannabe.

Under the divine guidance of Dr. James Dobson, 50 of America's leading vermin Evangelical leaders convened last week to discuss the formation of a fundamentalist Christian political party that would take on the misguided Republicans and the queer-loving Democrats.

But where to turn? Jesus' main bitch, Jimmy Dobson was rolling naked in his $138 million annual income (he likes to be paid in cash) wondering what to buy next. A private jet? A new $39,000 wardrobe for his wife from Chico's? The White House? And Jesus gave him the answer. Right there on the old telly, General Peter Pace instructing Congress that homosexuals are abominations.



James Dobson recently told The New York Times, "If neither of the two major political parties nominates an individual who pledges himself or herself to the sanctity of human life, we will join others in voting for a minor-party candidate. I firmly believe that the selection of a president should begin with a recommitment to traditional moral values and beliefs. Those include the sanctity of human life, the institution of marriage, and other inviolable pro-family principles."

According to nationally-syndicated Evangelical columnist, Joseph Farah, " Wouldn't it be nice to have as a choice for president in 2008 a seasoned military man who says what he believes? I can tell you he shook up Washington last week when he repeated his view that homosexual acts are immoral, are "counter to God's law" and should not be condoned in the U.S. military.

"Bigot!" some spectators shouted at a hearing of the Senate Appropriations Committee, which, ostensibly, was considering the Pentagon's 2008 war spending request. It all came up when Senator Tom Harkin, D-Iowa, said he found Pace's previous remarks on the subject "very hurtful" and "very demoralizing" to homosexuals serving in the military. Harkin said he wanted to give Pace a chance to amend his remarks in light of his imminent retirement. Pace responded to Harkin by pointing out the U.S. Military Code of Justice prohibits homosexual activity as well as adultery.

"You know Pace speaks for the vast majority of Americans on this issue, but most today would be too intimidated by the forces of political correctness to say it so forcefully and unflinchingly. But say it we must. For those of us who actually take the Bible and our Christian and Jewish faiths seriously, we must stand up for what is right in God's eyes.

"Some politicians, like Harkin, would rather be on the side of the popular culture than the side of the Bible. Many would rather go along with the crowd than stand up for eternal principles. Most would rather avoid the subject altogether. And that's why I wish a good man like Peter Pace would consider serving his country one more time – not in uniform, but as commander in chief. "

While you may have thought that General Pace had been discredited by his outrageously bigoted remarks before Congress and the American people, no less an illuminary than Secretary of Defense Robert M. Gates sang the praises of the retiring Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff--and just a few days ago.

"As we have seen through 40 years of extraordinary service, this proud Marine has also shown himself to be a gifted leader of soldiers, sailors, airmen, and, with his wife, Lynne, a firm advocate for their families as well. General Pace brings his career to a close as one of the last of a dwindling breed of officers. His four decades in uniform have spanned four eras of the U.S. military's modern history, from the Vietnam War and the draft, to the all-volunteer force and victory in Desert Storm, to the false tranquility following the Cold War, and then the post- 9/11 campaigns our armed forces have waged in Afghanistan, Iraq and against violent jihadists worldwide. "

"General Pace...chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, the most powerful military officer in the world..cares for everyone in our armed forces as if he were still their platoon leader. In my service under seven presidents, I have been privileged to serve with many great leaders. [Pete] is one of the very finest."

Gates made these remarks at a tribute dinner for Pace with Bush and Cheney sitting at his side. A cynic might assume that this was something of a coronation, a passing of the mantle.

We live in a nation where a public declaration of fag-hating catapults you into the role of national hero for millions of conservative Christians, including the current occupants of The White House and the Department of Defense. We live in a nation where you can be seriously considered presidential material for no other reason than calling gay Americans immoral and as sinful as adulterers.

Never mind that this military hero, along with our current President, is responsible for the worst and most humiliating disaster in American foreign policy since...[fill in the blank because I cannot.] Competence is of no interest to Republicans and Evangelicals. The only credential that matters is a well-established record of fag hating.

The coming Presidential election year may go down in the history books as the official beginning of the end of the American experiment begun in 1776. Ironically, the republic may be brought to its knees by the very principles upon which it was founded: freedom of speech, free elections and freedom of religion. These three noble principles intended to guarantee individual liberty, the rights of man, freedom from persecution, oppression and tyranny may very well provide the cover for the forces of fundamentalism to trample on the Constitution and establish a fundamentalist theocratic oligarchy more in line with an Iranian model than a Western European democracy. Is the notion of a religious nut general running the nation far-fetched? No more so than 9/11, Sadaam Hussein's weapons of mass destruction or secret CIA torture camps.

As I've said before, your 2008 vote will be the most important one you've ever cast; it may also be your last.