DVD - It's Halloween! Which means it's time to review the sort of films you wouldn't normally give the time of day. Brace yourselves, I'm going in and maybe you will win a copy of this film ...

On the eve of the biggest LGBT blowout of the year, five gay and lesbian couples (read 'stereotypes') find themselves having to make reservations at the secluded Sahara Salvation Inn. What should have been the party of the century quickly turns into every gay and lesbian's worst nightmare when they discover that the hotel's proprietor is a god-fearing gay-basher with a penchant for mincemeat muffins. Her daughter Luella likes girls a bit too much, and Mummy is determined to heal her by converting one of the gay men, by any means necessary. If that wasn't bad enough, a snarling, homosexual-eating Republican mutant starts to pick them off, one by one.

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Now when I say that this is 'Grindhouse' don't be tempted to think: 'Oh yeah, Planet Terror, Tarantino, that sort of thing was OK, like, ironic yeah?' Millions of pounds were spent on those movies to make them look bad. This was probably made for a bet. Grindhouse originally meant movies that were so awful they were screened in old burlesque theatres due for demolition. This is true Grindhouse in the sense that it is REALLY pants.

If you watch this through a green cocktail haze at a Halloween party you may very well die laughing. On the other hand you may, like me, think that the acting wasn't quite hammy enough to be put on, the directing is worse than some porn I've seen and the script feels like it is written by a child who doesn't quite understand why Auntie Cherry has a beard. And it's too long.

It's SO bad that I bet you will watch this. Possibly twice.

If this still hasn't put you off, you live in the UK and you want to become the proud owner of this DVD, then we have some good news for you since Halloween put us in a giving mood. We have 5 copies of The Gay Bed and Breakfast to give away and the only thing you need to do is send us an e-mail with the answer on the following question:

On what day do we celebrate Halloween?

Send your answer together with your name, address and telephone number to queersighted1@aol.com and maybe you will be one of our lucky winners.

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