Listen up, homos. Y'all are disgusting. Filthy. Nasty sinners. Call a spade a spade, gays, cuz y'all is gross. Homosexuality is an abomination and you are on the express train, next stop HELL. Unless... Unless you listen to Adam.

Adam is a straight man who used to be gay, a straight man who wears ascots, and he wants to show you how to save yourself. He prays over the homosexual community nightly, down on his hands and knees EVERY NIGHT y'all, just preying over the young gays, praying they will see God's light.

Adam is not saying he wants to pick a fight. No no no, don't get it twisted... (though he does bring up God's whip.) Adam knows you are gay because you didn't have a father in the house, or because you were abused by an uncle or some other man. But God is a father to the fatherless, y'all, and you need to let God be your daddy. He really wants to be your daddy. Or he will whip you. Probably real hard. Because according to photos, he is really strong, and beefy. And he likes long robes.

Now, many people hate Adam temporarily -- for like maybe a whole month sometimes! -- but then they get saved and they THANK him. They THANK HIM for holding the line. And he holds on tight. He never lets go, never never.

So listen to Adam. Because "a man's seed is not meant to eat crap and die." Save yourself. Save your seed. Listen so Adam can get up off his poor, sore, bruised knees.

Video of Adam and his ascot after the jump.