Somewhat fatigued with low-budget gay independent films that mostly rely on supernaturally perfect male bodies to lure us in, I threw in my FAT GIRLS screener expecting to fall asleep or fast forward from gratuitous nudity scene to gratuitous nudity scene. I was mightily disappointed and absolutely engaged. This is a gritty, unforgiving look at authentically damaged and far from perfect real queers struggling through adolescence in some godforsaken corner of Evangelical Land. The film, which opens in New York on November 2 at the Quad Cinema and rolls out nationally through November, is billed a comedy--but it's the kind of comedy that relies on the mess that is our lives. If you can't laugh at yourself, you might have trouble laughing at this movie.

Obeying the spoiler rule, I will say that the movie is full of surprising and very funny and often time disturbing plot twists--again, pretty much like real life. And the ending will not surprise you. It will surprise you. It may offend you. It may please you--depending on your hold on reality as opposed to having a firm belief in traditional and absurd Hollywood endings.

But like much of this flic, the ending will stay with you for days as you ponder it's political correctness vs the way things really and oftentimes work in this imperfect place we call our lives.

What I loved about this film is the lack of romantic rubbish and the veneer of glamor. Adolescence is hard and it is exponentially harder for fat girls and chubby gay boys. Finally we have a movie where the gay boys aren't' pretty and the struggle is real. Go and see this movie. It's refreshing and exciting to see a queer movie that doesn't rely on prostitution, tragedy or abs to draw you in. And no happy endings, just the next step in figuring out the plan--whatever it is.

One warning, the movie's R rating is misleading. I can't quite figure out the reason for the R rating other than to conclude that just showing gay reality is enough to offend the homophobic jerks who rate movies. If Fat Girls had been an entirely straight take on the adolescent struggle it likely would have earned a PG-13. So don't go assuming that an R rating means full frontal or even the occasional moon. There is some discussion of penis but no one is kind enough to show any.

You can read much more of my raves and rants on gay cinema by clicking here.

According to Entertainment Weekly, the big gay movie that changed everything apparently changed nothing.

What a shocker! You remember Brokeback, don't you? Hollywood's first gay romance, written by a heterosexual, directed by a heterosexual, starring heterosexuals...I'm sorry, what was gay about it? Well, now, after two years of waiting for the Hollywood revolution, it turns out that it ain't coming. Kind of like ENDA and the Hate Crime Bill--lot's of talk but no action. Now that's gay! Read more here.

Of course, we can still be grateful to Brokeback Mountain for giving a homophobic America a new and even more fun way to disparage the queer community. Nothing says loser like gay Brokeback.

Knowledge is power and history is knowledge. Some have compared Obama to Jack Kennedy, but Obama's latest passion for ex-gay gospel singers teaches us otherwise. Ironically, I can't find a reason to be upset about pro-gay Obama going all pro-ex-gay, willing to shake his gospel booty next to a profoundly misguided and psychologically-damaged gay man. The gay blogosphere has been all atwitter with this scandal, Obama creatively waffles, now caught between gays and evangelicals--a moronic dilemma of his own amateurish making. But for me the real concern is his Forty Days of Faith all God all the time magical mystery tour. And when you consider that the only thing that stands between queers and equality is all faith, all the time, it would seem that we're now seeing, as Ms. Lauper would say, Obama's "true colors." The other thing that concerns me is how we defile the legacy of Jack Kennedy. Students of history would understand the true cowardice of Obama and most other candidates as well. You can read the truth here. But start with this video and consider the real meaning of American, constitution-centric leadership. Dry and boring history teaches us that there is another way, a better way and that our current crop of Democrats is sadly lacking.

Back in the winter of '05, as I was walking barefoot through five miles of snow on my way to school, my friend Huck turned to me and said, "Dick, have you read my blog?" What the F is a blog, I asked though my ice-encrusted mustache. So he told me. I was a bit confused. So you post your inner most thoughts and details of the mundane makings of your incredibly dull day and hundreds of strangers rush to read it? I hate America, I thought. First George W. Bush and now blogs? Yuck. Dumb ass country.

That night, as winter's worst raged outside the tiny window of my unheated garret, my one politically incorrect sperm whale candle flickering tentatively, I booted up my computer and explored Huck's blog. Huck is a ginger so I should have known better. Ginger's look perky but they are dull as Bush spawn. They have more freckles than brains. Within a few minutes, I realized that blogs were the non-pharmaceutical solution to insomnia. I passed out on the timber floor.

The following morning Huck and I were back on the blizzardy path to education. I made an ice ball and bashed him on the head; the blood blended well with his ginger hair and rusty freckles. "What was that for?" Huck whined. "For making me read your blog, you dimwitted idiot. What crap. Call me an elitist, but who the hell cares about your untrained Boston Terrier pup eating an old Superman comic book? Anyhow, thanks for a good night's sleep."

I could see the pain in Huck's eyes. He loved that comic. "You bitch (Huck's a fag), you think your life is more interesting than mine? " "Honey," I shot back, "the crap I took this morning is having a more interesting life than yours." So Huck challenged me. "Prove it! See how long it takes you to beat my tens of devoted readers!"

Well it took me three days. Huck's daily average hovered around 200, and by the end of the week Proceed At Your Own Risk was pushing 500. Within two months, PAYOR was averaging about 5,000 site visits per day.

Two years later, I abandoned PAYOR for AOL and QueerSighted, seduced into corporate servitude by the perky, effervescent and sexy as Hell Kenny Hill. On Monday, October 22, my birthday, I've decided to relaunch PAYOR--but be warned. PAYOR has never been and will never be SAFE FOR WORK, PAYOR will not be kind to gay bashers and comments left by homophobes, even polite ones will be rewarded with official acts of new a**hole ripping. Oh, and none of the annoying **** on PAYOR. PAYOR has always been and will be again be a place for real people in all of their glorious queerness. So please travel with me back to the risky land of PAYOR, that special part of New York City where the girls are tough and the boys are pretty.

I will rage on for as long my arthritis allows! By the way, feel free to email me with your thoughts and comments. All feedback on PAYOR 2.0 would be much appreciated!

The greatest challenge associated with aging is not morbidity and mortality; it's novelty. More precisely it's the hunger for novelty, a hunger that grows increasingly difficult to satisfy. And when I was asked to review a new Logo film, Coffee Date, which premiered just this past Sunday, I found it very difficult to enjoy and report on the film with an open mind. How many times have I endured this particular story line? Coffee Date poses the prickly question: Can a heterosexual WASPy All-American hunk find love and companionship with a homosexual Latino stud sporting the perfect six-pack? It's the latest and trendy incarnation of the classic buddy movie merged with a social-consciousness raising unlikely romantic couple faced with top-of-mind social and political challenges.

Can rich Roman Catholic Bridget find love with poor Jewish Bernie? Can anal compulsive Felix survive life with Oscar the uber-slob? Can liberal Katherine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy accept their snow white daughter's marriage to intensely African-American Sidney Poitier? Can straight All-American computer programmer Todd and steamy gay Latin lover hair stylist Kelly find love, friendship and sexual compatibility?

Organized religion has perpetrated an outrageous and profoundly hurtful con. And an intimidated American media and a conservative mental health community has played the classic enabler role in underpinning this con leading the American people to actually think there is such a thing as an ex-gay. Ex-gays are simply men and women who have been enabled to return to the destructive and soul-crushing world of the Closet. The only difference is that this "reborn" closet is made of glass and allows us all to look in with horror.

Case in point: an obviously damaged and pathologically troubled Charlene Cothran finds herself standing before an adoring crowd of bigots and fundamentalist fanatics at a recent Americans For Truth About Homosexuality fund-raising banquet proclaiming that "the born gay claim is a vicious lie." Ms. Cothran, overwhelmed by a pathologically homophobic society succumbed to the self-delusions and self-loathing of the closet, albeit a glass closet , and now lives in a world of ignorance and dead souls.

Speaking before this modern version of a Ku Klux Klan rally, born again into the Closet, Ms. Cothran betrayed and humiliated her spiritual core and humanity.

I admit that I'm somewhat angered by several of the insulting comments and very rude emails that I've received in response to my Barney Frank post--so my blood pressure is already high and my temper at the moment is hot. I say this because FOX News just jumped on my last nerve.

So I find myself wondering why it is that we so easily go after each other's throats, but so quickly climb into bed with the enemy every chance we get? While we were gutting Barney Frank, FOX News was once again gutting us and Khadijah Farmer in particular. For many months I have called for a boycott of all things Murdoch including the FOX network and The New York Post. My pleas have mostly been met with silence, and yet the rush to tear into Barney Frank over principle has been fierce. But where are all of you hypocrites when it comes to FOX and The New York Post?

Sure, it's easy to slam tireless and heroic Barney, but give up Page Six, American Idol or any of the other crap shows that depend heavily on the support of the gay audience? All of these Murdoch products pour millions of dollars into Murdoch's anti-gay monster machine. Our noble gay community will take a stand on ENDA in terms of devouring Barney Frank and his supporters--even though ENDA is a bill unlikely to pass because we, as a community, are too self-indulgent and self-absorbed to deliver the kind of activism and civil disobedience that would drive Congress to positive action. But boycott our guilty pleasures even though they are openly funding the crusade to drive us back into the closet? We'd love to but not if means giving up our fun.

Thousands of queer Americans have attacked one of our few influential leaders, Barney Frank, with emails, calls and letters. Hundreds of gay advocacy groups have done the same. But with regard to Murdoch and Fox? Silence.

For some of you--the more naive and neo-natal in particular--it may be difficult to imagine how a deranged medical quack and psychopathic bigot can successfully position himself as an expert science witness in the American court system and an expert science source for many of our mainstream journalists. But such is the case with Paul Cameron of the Family Research Institute. Every credible professional organization you can imagine has either condemned or officially listed the FRI as a hate group and pseudo-scientific sham organization. Does this matter to Evangelicals, our courts or many state and federal politicians? Nope, not a bit. Apparently in Bush America, the only credentials you need to be considered an expert are homophobia and a passion for dishonesty in the name of Jesus.

It's one of those quirky little things about Bush America--the don't-waste-my-time-with-facts society.

For those of you familiar with "Dr." Cameron's despicable antics, he's back, like a recurring cancer. For those of you who have never heard of Paul Cameron, Mr. Cameron is to medicine and science what salmonella is to chicken eggs and human morbidity and mortality.

His latest and possibly most disgusting act of perversion? He's pushing another pathologically delusional pseudo-scientific study that demonstrates (to complete idiots) that male homosexual teachers are most likely to sexually abuse their students. At least that's what Cameron and his colleagues want the media, the courts and the legislatures to believe so they fabricate research, twist numbers, ignore facts and publish their own pseudo-medical journals--and courts and politicians eat it all up like insatiable maggots in a dumpster. (I'm having trouble disguising my rage and disgust and I hate writing about this, but you need to know and be armed when somebody tosses this mud in your face.)

The battle royale between Barney Frank and the majority of gay advocacy groups is likely providing delicious entertainment for the Christian right. Nothing pleases an enemy more than dissension in the ranks.--well maybe the one thing that pleases our enemies more is to see the ENDA debate suddenly focused on the complex transgender issue. It's a diversion and a misstep made in hell. With an ENDA vote already hanging by a thread we should be massing in front of Congress demanding an end to the outrage of minority discrimination in 21st Century America, instead gay advocacy groups across the nation are now taking to the streets to demand that ENDA be defeated.

Exclusion of transgender Americans from ENDA is heartbreaking, but Frank and a few others argue that casualties are an inevitable part of any war as are sacrifices and compromises. Victory is expensive--and not in terms of the dollars endlessly demanded by our generally ineffective gay advocacy groups. And compromise is essential to real progress, not extremism. Ironically, so many of us of have accepted necessary phased progress and compromises in the fight for same sex marriage, an effort that has almost exhaused the resources of gay advocay groups in the service of a very tiny minority within they gay community. But on an issue that profoundly matters to every single one of us, hundreds of gay advocacy groups around the nation are prepared to sabotage 30 years of work in the name of "all or nothing."

Until today, I've stood silent on the ENDA transgender issue because I've caused enough of a ruckus over these past few months with my belief that growing visibility dominated by gay stereotypes has done and continues to do serious damage to our fight for civil rights. But Barney Frank's October 11 press conference demands that I flap my jaws on this issue.

Enough is enough. At the risk of upsetting my tens of fans, I can no longer lie. Io non sono omosessuale! I'm not gay! There. Basta. It's out. Finally.

I've never been gay. And under no circumstances could I imagine ever being gay in the future. It's not a choice I would make. Why would anyone? It's unnatural and almost beyond reasonable comprehension.

Yes, indeed, I have spent the last 18 years of my life researching the gay lifestyle in order to better understand it. And in the interests of credible and indisputable research, I have worked diligently until reaching a statistically significant sampling--approximately 1,500 men with whom I have engaged in just about every permutation and variation of gay sex imaginable. Science be served. I have swallowed. I have explored every orifice available and allowed the same to be done to me. I have rope burns, customized leather goods and imported German sex toys that have set me back some serious Euros. (As an aside, rimming chairs can be converted into nifty lawn ornaments once you've completed your research. Sadly, I don't have a lawn.)

So, there you have it. I'm not gay.

I had fully intended to continue my research as a faux fag for many years to come, but I've been inspired by the Roman Catholic Church to come out and stand proud as an openly straight man researching gay sex so that I can better help real gay men and women walk into the light. After all, if you haven't waged the battle of teeth and breath control, how can you possibly understand the awfulness of homosexuality?

If you're going to f**k with a queer, the last place you'd want to do it is in the gayest of all gayborhoods and just a swish, pirouette and grand plie around the corner from Stonewall Inn. You'd have to have one serious death wish, n'est-ce pas? Oh, and, of course, you want to do it during Pride.

By now, most of us are well versed on the case of Khadijah Farmer, a lesbian, who on June 24, 2007, after the Pride Parade down 5th Avenue, couldn't resist one of the world-famous frozen magaritas in 14 flavors differentes served in the 24 oz souvenir Hurricane Glass that gives the Caliente Cab Company restaurant about its only reason for staying in business.

At some point the lady in question entered the women's restroom. Caliente's bouncer burst in and threw her and her friends out of the restaurant because he thought she looked too masculine to be in the women's restroom. Even photo ID confirming her gender failed to dissuade the bouncer from giving Farmer the old 86. Farmer, of course, is suing for discrimination. And although there are no federal laws to cover this kind of service denial and harassment, this is New York City and boy are there laws and girl are they clear.

The New York City Human Rights Law prohibits discrimination in public accommodations on the basis of gender - including appearance, behavior, and expression - and sexual orientation. Similarly, the New York State Human Rights Law prohibits discrimination in public accommodations on the basis of sex and sexual orientation.

Who would have or could have imagined a lawsuit for sexual orientation discrimination in 2007 in Greenwich Village, New York City? Caliente, welcome to the neighborhood and Ms. Farmer's lawyers.

But the latest development in the story is enough to caliente the cockles of my heart. A collaboration of five activist groups, the Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund, the Transgender Health Initiative of New York, the Queer Justice League, Gays and Lesbians of Bushwick Empowered and Make The Road New York are pooling their resources and members to stage what I hope will be a gay activist's dream and a homophobe's nightmare. Yes, you ivory tower advocates, a real, honest-to-goodness take to the streets demonstration--and just around the corner from Stonewall.

Tuesday, October 16, 5:30 P.M. And if you attend because of this post, seek me out and I'll give you a shot from my flask. (Happy Hour is Happy Hour.)

So as we were all heading off for a lovely autumnal weekend, a very confused Terminator ran off to the local 7/ll for a quart of milk, a copy of Variety, some Depends and to veto the California same sex marriage bill. One can't be completely sure that he meant to do that, but Arnie's not terribly clever at multi-tasking.

I would never be so rude as to call the governor of California an "idiot". However, I don't agree with other gay voices who are this morning calling him a hypocrite and a bigot simply because he vetoed the gay marriage bill passed by the California State Legislature.

Clearly The Terminator is confused--which is very different from being an "idiot." The Republican party has insisted that the decision on same sex marriage should not rest with activist judges in the courts because the United States Constitution rests law-making power with elected representatives and not via popular vote and it was a popular vote five years ago in California that determined that the constitution was wrong and that civil rights and equality did not apply to gay Americans but under the constitution law-making power and determinations on civil rights rests with the legislatures which actually then passed a law approving same sex marriage but it is, as the Constitution says, up to the courts to determine the constitutionality of laws so The Terminator vetoed the same sex law constitutionally passed by the state legislature because he wants the determination to be made by the courts even though his party says the courts shouldn't be making such decisions rather such decisions should be made by lawmakers as outlined in the constitution.

Are you confused? Well, imagine how a brain ravaged by decades of steroids and fantasy role-playing both on the silver screen and with that insatiable Kennedy girl, gets all bewitched, bothered and bewildered in attempts to understand same sex marriage and the constitution.

Arnie is not an idiot, but how can he be anything other than terribly confused? However, his party, the Republicans--you've heard of them, I suspect? They're appearing every other Thursday in the men's room at Chippendales on the Vegas Strip--are counting on the notion that we're all idiots. And for the most part they seem to be right. The majority of Americans are idiots. What other explanation can there be for the widespread acceptance of the convoluted perverse logic that the GOP keeps using to block equality for all Americans?

As the news broke that yet another supposedly macho, homophobic, Roman Catholic Latin American nation is on the verge of federal legislation banning discrimination based on sexual orientation, it occurred to me that George W. Bush has likely done more for gay rights--everywhere but here--than all the world's gay activists combined.

I was raised by profoundly dysfunctional and cruel parents. As I observed my peers and their families and watched television families, I quickly came to realize that my parents had it wrong. It dawned on me that the solution to learning what is right was simple and elegant. In any situation, I would just ask myself what would mommy and daddy do and then I would do the opposite.

I think this philosophy has come to dominate politics and social and cultural life in many nations around the world. The presidents and legislatures of many countries have put aside their learning, religious teachings and old traditions and asked themselves, "What would George W. Bush do?" And then they just do the opposite. What other reason could there be for an evil dictator like Hugo Chavez standing tall for gay rights?

Countries like Mexico, Brazil, Colombia and now Venezuela are hardly known as paragons of human rights. The gap between rich and poor in these nations is a thousand times worse than even here. Corruption and violence are the order of the day. And yet one by one these nations are "fixing" their constitutions to extend civil rights and social benefits and protections to all citizens, gay and straight alike.

On Thursday of this past week, we learned that the evil president of Venezuela, Hugo Chavez, high up on Georgie's hit list, directed the Venezuelan legislature to amend his nation's constitution to formally outlaw discrimination based on sexual orientation. Last week, I reported that Colombia extended the customary legal and social benefits allowed straight couples to include gay couples. But 40 years after civil rights legislation was passed by the United States to protect women and all minorities--minus us--from discrimination in employment, housing, education, services and social benefits the Bush Administration and the current Congress blather on and on while we remain second class citizens.

Frankly, I find it revolting and profoundly embarrassing to consider that as an American citizen living in the self-proclaimed most robust democracy in the world, I would have more civil rights living in Colombia or Venezuela. I love my country and will go on fighting for my rights, but George W. Bush and the 110th Congress need to join the 21st Century or we need another revolution. The American voters sent a clear message to Washington in November of 2006: change. Just under one year later, things have changed, but for the worse. The Republicans screwed us--all of us--gay and straight but at least they were honest about their intention to do so. The Democrats lied to us and are guilty of betrayal. A Democratic-controlled Congress can't even muster enough votes to pass ENDA much less end the embarrassment and disaster that George W. Bush calls the world's newest American-made democracy, Iraq.

Now you know how I want to die. That will be the headline on the front page of The New York Post, on October 23, 2048, the morning after my 100th birthday celebratory orgy. Expect that the story will report that I was found with a diversity of men by age, ethnicity and fetish. My preference would be death by drowning on dry land (take a moment to think that through,) but simple suffocation under the weight of it all is an acceptable alternative. This may seem ghoulish to many of you. Get over it. Death is inevitable and death by orgy is certainly preferable to most of the alternatives.

I used to think it was an unrealistic goal, but according to new research published in the prestigious New England Journal of Medicine, elderly and even extremely elderly Americans are much more sexually active than anyone imagined.

Among those 75-85, 38% of men and 17% of women reported sexual activity in the past year,

A urologist from Maimonides Medical Center in Brooklyn, N.Y., says men remain "sexually interested and active" into their 80s and 90s.

Estimates suggest more than 40 million men worldwide have been able to continue sexual activity into their later years because of medications such as Viagra, Levitra or Cialis.

According to the New England Journal of Medicine publication, more than a quarter of those up to age 85 reported having sex the previous year. Deb Choma, a nurse administrator for 17 years at an assisted-living center in Salisbury, Vt. told USA Today that seven years ago she found herself grappling with the realities of senior sex. First, there was the granddaughter who found her grandmother in a compromising pose with a gentleman resident. Then a 1 a.m. phone call alerted her to staff members finding that a female visitor had stayed over in an older male resident's room. They were discovered in the buff.