At first I thought it had to be a spoof, but nope. Twelve Mormon Missionaries walk into a bar...oops, I mean twelve Mormon Missionaries returned from saving souls and then stripped off their shirts for the new Mormon Men On A Mission calendar. Sporting plucked eyebrows, seriously coiffed hair, strategically placed make-up and trimmed treasure trails, Mitt's storm troopers are hoping that perfect abs, meaty pecs, lightly fluffed armpits and perky Salt Lake City nipples will have us all rushing to embrace the Church of Latter Day Saints--and, I suppose, voting for Mitt. Works for the MSNBC reporter and works for me as well.

These missionaries have assumed the calendar position in the hopes that it will dispel stereotypes about Mormons. Having watched the videos and listened to the interviews, all I can say is that my belief in the stereotype that many Mormon men are hunky, hot closet queens has totally been put to bed.

You can purchase the calendar at mormonsexposed.com. Do visit the website whether or not you intend to purchase 12 semi-nude Mormon Missionaries for your on-your-knees praying to God pleasure. It's chock full of great info on each model's missionary position and includes an interactive photo gallery where you can slide your mouse across a Mormon man's white-shirted body and strip him bare for your viewing pleasure. Oh, and don't forget to pick up a few items of hot Mormon man apparel! I can't imagine wearing anything else to the clubs and bars--at least until the Rabbi's of the Yeshiva release their calendars and T-shirts.

Oh Mitt, let me lick your Great Salt Lake!

Sometimes these posts just write themselves, if you know what I mean.

I know this. So why can't I stop buying Evian? Virtually every study conducted over the past few years has demonstrated that America's drinking water is as good if not better than almost all bottled waters. Furthermore, we now know that the plastic bottles have been a global nightmare for the environment. Buying and drinking bottled water is anti-green, stupid and fiscally irresponsible. And yet I just can't stop myself, I run my fingers up and down the curves of that bottle and I shiver. I wrap my quivering lips around it's girth and dream of irresistible pleasures. Oh, Evian, I love you so. If only I understood why...

Tal Schwartz, a furniture designer from Israel has come up with the perfect gift for your favorite jock, the 3pts. Basketball Chair. I challenge you to find something better for him to sit on.

According to Tal, " 3pts. is a simple-fun chair, made of 2 wood parts [laser-cut birch] and 3 basketballs. This chair can be used both indoor and outdoor, perfect for any kind of house party, and you can always take one of the balls for a quick game." So practical. According to Sigmund Freud, "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar." According to Monica Lewinsky, "Sometimes it isn't."

One day in the far distant future, historians will consider the wholeness of man and stop pretending that queers emerged somewhere between Monday and Wednesday of last week. A number of theories are under debate in archaeological circles surrounding a "very unusual" discovery in an ancient Roman suburb. But none of these theories--at least as far as the media are concerned--consider that this may have been the first official and largest and most lavish gay bathhouse ever conceived.

Archaeologists have uncovered a private 5-acre villa about which we know three facts. The first is that it was the spectacular home of an ancient Roman equivalent of a billionaire, Quintus Servilius Pudens. Secondly we know that Quintus Servilius Pudens was a close personal friend of the openly queer Emperor Hadrian. Thirdly, this is the largest private bathhouse ever discovered.

One of the lead archaeologists on this dig, in making the announcement just last week of this major discovery, explained: ""The Romans had more leisure time than other people, and it's here in the baths that they typically spent their time. Because you could eat well, you could get a massage, you could have sex, you could gossip, you could play your games, you could talk about politics - you could spend the whole day here. However, to have a bath complex of this size, this scale, it's very unusual."

The Associated Press reports that this 2nd-century private bathhouse consists of an "exceptionally well-preserved two-story complex, which extends for at least five acres, includes ornate hot rooms, vaults, changing rooms, marble latrines and an underground room where slaves lit the fire to warm the baths."

In a gay world, the headline on the AP story might have been something like: "Archaeologists Unearth What May Be The First And Largest Gay Bathhouse Of Antiquity."

I've always wanted to be a DJ. You know, go all *Carmen* on the wheels of steel at a big lezzy event, and have everyone saying, "Who is that fly DJ??" I want to be able to look good in a hat, and army tags, and those long colorful gloves that the cool girls wear. I want to be the mysterious hot chick that only looks up every hour and a half to say what's up to my new lady fans. I want to, ya know, wreck a mic.

My brother Alfred--ahem, I mean, "Rook"--is a rapper in Texas. We all know I can NEVER ever ever be a rapper/poet (click here for evidence) but my bro can do so much on the production end of music, I wonder if maybe I have the skillz, and just haven't given it the right amount of effort. Hmm...

While I ponder my next life changing career move, you guys check out this chick I found on Youtube the other night. She's known as DJDayn. She's adorable. And when I say "adorable," I mean "effin' hot." I like the little giggles to herself. It's intriguing. Ooh, and she's sooo very talented. She wrote this song for her girlfriend:

(Diane Reyes aka DJDayn "Intoxicated")

I love it when women write songs to their girlfriends. I can hear the collective "Aw!" You can see more videos at Youtube/DjDayn.

And to top it off, she's also a painter. Click here to see some of her work. I SO want "Billie," "Ella" and "Soul Singer" on my walls!

Howdy, readers!

At this month's NewFest Gay and Lesbian Film Festival, over 250 amazing movies were shown from 33 countries.

I met a lot of the movies' actors, directors and writers – but I was doubly thrilled to sit down with the producers of the extraordinary and inspiring documentary, 'Emile Norman: By His Own Design,' Jill Eikenberry and Michael Tucker. (You might know them from a teeny-tiny show called 'L.A. Law.')



The three of us sat down in a midtown office before their movie's premiere and discussed "La Law," food, Italy and artist Emile Norman ...

Read the whole kit and kaboodle ... after the jump.

We tend to overlook the invaluable and profound role that individual artists play in political, cultural and social advancement. For the most part, the public at large can't be moved or shocked by a legitimate artist's mere photograph or painting--regardless of the topic --when they, they public, have been barraged and emotionally, intellectually and aesthetically numbed by relentless visuals of the shaved vagina of a Mouseketeer. But just because such nonsense distracts many of us from important matters, doesn't mean that important matters aren't occurring and quietly making a difference. The visuals of fine art have always moved culture, from the 15,000 year-old cave paintings of Lascaux to the activist art of Keith Haring. The impact is more subtle than tabloid journalism, but also more enduring and more profound.

In these extreme times it's difficult for an artist to challenge standards in the shock and awe way of Toulouse-Lautrec's prostitutes or Robert Mapplethorpe's fetish photography. Furthermore the humble painter or photographer can hardly have the impact of a Hollywood blockbuster or an American Idol. Nonetheless in small important ways great art continues to lay a foundation for change and self-examination and while images of Britney's little "friend" may dominate today's' headlines, it will be the pioneering work of our artists that will endure and help make us better.

No where is this more apparent in 2007 than among gay "activist" artists who play a critical role in the evolution of gay culture. They reflect who we are and what we are becoming, but they also guide us, inspire us and most importantly, empower us.

I recently found myself engaged in a discussion about New York Art Deco architecture and decorative and applied arts. (Yes, I'm just that much of a geek.) I was gushing over my life-long fascination and love affair with the Empire State Building and its powerful iconic nature. But a friend asked me if my attraction to the building was more based on architectural style than on the specific building itself. At first I couldn't' see how to separate the two but after a while it dawned on me that there was much more to the question than was immediately apparent.

I've always been fascinated by the relationship between art, culture, politics, social movements and human psychology. Within a certain time and place, does a popular artistic style reflect or herald a burgeoning social movement and cultural shift? How much does an art movement actually influence culture and human behavior and how much does culture influence art? The answers to these questions often seem simple enough until you find yourself in a debate.

Photography is a passion of mine, specifically photographing Manhattan, and as I sifted through my copious files of photographs I saw two things that I'd not noticed before. First, my eye tends to prefer architectural and design elements of the Art Deco movement. Secondly, Art Deco may very well be the gayest and perhaps even ultimate and defining gay art movement.

As if we weren't in enough trouble with the Vatican and Evangelicals, French gay magazine Pref hit Parisian newsstands yesterday with a somewhat updated version of Leonardo Da Vinci's Last Supper. Dan Brown's now notorious novel and film The Da Vinci Code asks the controversial question, "Is that Mary?" Brown upset Christians worldwide when he suggested that one of the men sitting next to Jesus in The Last Supper was actually a woman, Mary Magdalene to be specific.

Now German photographer Robert Recker takes it up a few notches in the May/June issue of Pref Magazine and proposes that they're all a bunch of Mary's. Mon Dieu!

By the way, I reminded mes amis over at Pref Magazine that Jesus and I are mishpocheh so they generously sent QueerSighted exclusive photos from Recker's New Passion of the Christ series which you can worship after the break.

Have you seen the cover of Entertainment Weekly this week?
Take a look -

Does that cover remind you of anything?
Anything at all?

When I saw it three words immediately sprang to mind.

Marcia.
Marcia.
Marcia.

Um...
Technically, that's one word.

But, one word or three, the magazine was clearly paying homage to The Brady Bunch.
Anyone could see that.

Or so I thought, until Matt informed me that it wasn't a reference to The Brady Bunch at all. It was, he said, in fact paying tribute to the song The Telephone Hour from the Broadway show Bye Bye Birdie.

Broadway.
Bye Bye Birdie.

How gay is that?

Meanwhile, last night on American Idol -

Phil was good.
Chris not so much.

Perhaps Kiki shouldn't sing country.
Jordin, however, could melt a country boy's heart.

Melinda can rock a honky tonk.
And Blake?

I was so distracted by that sweater vest he was wearing that I'm not sure what [or how] he sang. One thing is certain though, and that's the fact that Sanjaya Malakar is giving us all something to talk about.

The April 12 edition of The New York Times published an utterly ridiculous insightful article on gay and lesbian cars. With the New York International Auto Show packing in car aficionados at the Javits Center, the The Times thought it was timely to examine the myths and facts of queer drives.

I suppose one could evaluate the queerness of cars on the basis of a number of critical criteria. Is there enough room between the driver's crotch and the steering wheel for a human head? How well does the upholstery handle stains? The shift stick is entirely too big or not big enough. Does a catalytic converter reduce the pleasure of the ride?

A lesbian friend told me that her teenaged son was offered a Toyota Camry and was outraged yelling at his clueless mother that he might as well drive a vagina around town. So clearly cars have sexual orientations and genders. The Times graphic (below) lists the "OMG That's So Gay" cars. The paper of record even points out that "those" in the know call Subaru's, Lesbarus. I did not know that, but now I do, thanks to The New York Times.

Ever since I began going to the theatre as a little boy, I've been intrigued by the art of set design. My interest probably peaked back in '87 when I went to go see the Andrew Lloyd Webber roller-skaters-as-trains musical, 'Starlight Express.' The set was so mammoth, so tricky (check out this YouTube clip to witness the steel pageantry) that, even now as a sofistikated (oops) adult, I'll sometimes go see a show twice: the first time to admire the scenery, the second to actually pay attention to the show.

So it was truly a pleasure to sit down with Tony Award-winning set designer Scott Pask over breakfast at Coffee Shop in Manhattan. This talented designer has cooked up the scenery for some of my favorite Broadway shows ('The Wedding Singer,' 'Take Me Out' and the revivals of 'Nine' & 'Little Shop of Horrors,' among them) and currently has the 'Coast of Utopia' trilogy at Lincoln Center and the plays 'Howard Katz' and 'Blackbird' off-Broadway. I was excited to meet him. And hungry. (Pass the bread, please. Um, I digress ...)

Smart and charismatic, Scott is an amazing example of how creativity and commitment can pay off in spades.

Yesterday, fashion designer Marc Jacobs was showing his Louis Vuitton collection in Paris. Today, he is reported to have checked into rehab in Arizona. He previously underwent treatment there for drug and alcohol addiction.

Over the weekend, Australia's TheAge.com published an interview with Jacobs in which he shared what drove the "geeky-but-hip outsider" to abuse drugs and alcohol way back when:

"I felt taller, I felt sexier, I felt funnier, I felt less insecure. All those things were magic potions - and then they stopped working. But then, they weren't ever really magic potions. I dunno, maybe I just wanted to fit in."

TheAge.com wrote that "he is certainly looking happier and healthier than he has for a long time, something he attributes to his sobriety and to his recovery from long-term digestive problems."