Delicious rumors abound that Kelly Clarkson is a big old lesbo. When I heard this, I just had to get to the bottom of it and find out what's driving the sudden gay attention. It turns out, it's much a-gay about nothing.

Kelly Clarkson was recently photographed in an amazing gender-bending look complete with mullet-esque fauxhawk in the July issue of Elle magazine (seen above). In the article, Clarkson says:

"My point of view is that I shouldn't be a mother at all, because I'd be horrible. I'm not willing to be that selfless. I'm not keen on marriage. I don't let many people in. Men come and go. Friends are what I care about. And I'm fine with [seeing unflattering paparazzi shots of herself]. I just don't care. I don't wear makeup in public. I don't worry about what I'm wearing."

Krypto, QueerSighted's canem homosexualis mascot, has doggedly refused to come out from under his 1,500 thread count Egyptian cotton Mesa Sunrise Ralph Lauren comforter ever since he was celebrated on the fabulous celebrity pet blog Animal Hubbub, And why is Krypto featured on the coolest pet blog ever? Because the editors over there heard that my dogs are gay -- way gay -- and invited me to out them to the entire World Wide Web. Click on over and get the homo-canine details.

The only problem now is that with his newfound fame, Krypto is no longer able to mark out 42nd Street without being hounded by a rabid pack of paparazzi. Having just watched The Queen (no, not me, the Helen Mirren flic) he fears suffering a Princess Diana fate.

I know some of your porn names now. And [bonus] some of your drag names. I've never done drag and I haven't done porn. So, really, I have no use for a porn name. Well, maybe...

I've done one porn. But it was a long time ago, and it was home made porn, which totally doesn't count. No one will ever see it. Yes, I know -

Paris Hilton.
Pamela Anderson.
Colin Farrell.

All home made porn, and all seen round the world thanks to the www.

The thing is, though, those are big names. No one would be clamoring to see my little video, even if the voice over on it is pretty good. But, I'm digressing here. The mere mention of porn will do that to me. Like I said, I've never professionally done porn. I have, however, been an extra in a movie. This movie -

Boy Culture

If you can take your eyes off of Darryl Stephens and Derek Magyar for a moment, you can find me in the wedding and reception scenes. I'm in the pew behind them at the wedding.

Blue pinstripe suit.
Blue shirt.
Blue and yellow tie.

That's me.

Did you read Dan Savage's review of the movie? Not the best review, right?

Whatever.
I enjoyed it.

Of course, I'm in the movie. Not that I'll win any awards for my acting. As a matter of fact, I don't even have lines.

Um...

What is it that Gloria Swanson says in Sunset Boulevard - I can say anything I want with my eyes?

I pretty sure in Boy Culture my eyes are saying - You're a deer and you're caught in the headlights. I'm not positive though because I close my eyes when I see myself up on the screen.

A'ight.

That's all I got.
Take care.
Love you.

Nicky

Writer Rick Reed, one of my favorite friends on my MySpace page, has a nice analysis today on his blog about what he calls 'Electrobabble.'

About the term "not into the gay scene," Rick writes:

What is the gay scene? I'm gay, don't go to bars much, but love to cook, read, and go to movies. Is that the gay scene? Mark is gay and big into sports. He's on volleyball and softball teams, belongs to a gay running group and is on his bike all summer. Is that the gay scene? Luke is in the closet and frequents places like the bathhouses and adult bookstores. Is that the gay scene? The point is there's no such thing as a gay scene, any more than there's a straight scene. We're all different, the only thing we really have in common is our sexual orientation and even with that, there's a wide range of scenes. If you're talking about going out to bars a lot, say that.

Other electrobabble he tackles includes:

Straight acting and appearing.
Neg. UB2.
VGL.
41 but look 30.
No fats or femmes.

Check out his post. It's worth a read. (Mature Content)

If you're like me you've probably just come down off of your Easter Chocolate high. Or maybe, you were on something harder, Jelly Bellys, for instance. Or peeps.

Personally, I can't do the hard stuff. Yeah, I'm a wuss like that. I stick to chocolate. Back in the 1980s, Nancy Reagan [or Mr. T I can't remember which] taught us to just say no to candy um, I mean, drugs.

Not that I thought about it before but, the Easter Bunny, he's sort of like a dealer, isn't he?

Oh, I should get to who I am, and why I'm here. I'm a new blogger here on Queer Sighted. My name is Nicky.
That's me -

Nicholas Ajax Stamos

There's a bio here should you be interested in that kind of thing.
Of course, a bio doesn't tell you everything.

Mine for example doesn't mention that -

• I prefer Prince Harry to Prince William
• Once, I made out with an Elvis impersonator [in a trailer,at the fair].
• I don't smoke

Or that

• I am currently obsessed with Footballers Wives.

Getting back to the Easter Bunny dealers, though, wasn't there a song back in the 1970s called The Candyman? Wasn't that song about drugs? Or am I way off there?

These days, Christina Aguilera is singing about a candyman...

Yes, we're still pandering to your basest instincts as we work work to get your vote. So here's your third straight day of penis; and not just penis but penis with a promise. This writer will personally cover the upcoming National Underwear Day festivities in Times Square and provide an extravaganza of breathtaking photographs (making this one from my visit of last year pale by comparison.) But I will only do this is if we win the Sweet Sixteen Round of March Gayness. No other blogger on the web has the nerve to get up close and personal with the boys the way I do (I bring bait) so you really want to vote. Make your friends vote. Put pressure on your clergy, local school board, congressional representative and any random queers wasting their lives in Internet Cafes. Don't let a trashy gossip blog that panders to your basest instincts triumph over wit and insight. Show the Malcontent that our community has more substance than that!