Hold the presses! This just in from the Crazy Christian Right: Kindness is good and Homosexuals are kind. I didn't make this up. It's right on their website, Dingbats For Truth About Homosexuality. Who would know more about homosexuality and truth than these fine folks? They spend nearly all their free time studying us. That's right, in between exorcisms, church pot-lucks, snake-handling and giving away their kid's college tuition to shyster TV evangelists with meth addictions, they are on "the homo" like white on rice. But, they're not just upset about our beloved Dumbledore ...

"The movement is afoot to include positive portrayals of homosexuals and the transgendered in all textbooks from kindergarten on up. I have no objections to textbooks including the important invention or discovery of a homosexual or transgender person so long as their homosexuality or transgenderism is not mentioned."

That's pretty Christian of the Dingbats for Truth. They don't mind that homosexuals are important inventors and scientists, they just don't want anyone to know about it. They won't tell you, but I will. There are so many queer scientists in Los Angeles, they have they're own website, Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Scientists.

Guess what? We're not just good at science! And the Dingbats for Truth aren't the only Christians on the block!

My high school English teacher was a poet. My favorite line from one of her poems is, "I am not so old that what my students teach, I cannot learn". I always read that line from a student's perspective. Until last night, that is. All joking about old coots aside, there has been nothing in my life to age me. Not in a real sense. I have no children. My life has always been free. No alarm clocks, no nine to five. No looming retirement. I've moved so much I don't even have any old friends. Well, I have old friends, but like my old furniture, they were already old when I met them.

Last night, I had the honor of performing at an awards dinner for a local New York chapter of GLSEN, the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network. There were a dozen or so high school kids there, along with teachers, GLSEN board members and allies. Four awards were given out to community allies.

One of the award recipients said something that stuck with me. She said, "I'm honored to receive this award, but saddened that an award needs to be given to anyone for being an ally of LGBT youth." She was right of course, but I couldn't see it that way. I am indeed old enough to remember when there were no gay/straight alliances, no GLSEN's, no discussions, no community centers, no support. I wanted to give everyone in the room an award just for being there.

When I was in high school, gay was not an option. I didn't really even know any gay people until I was living in New York and went to my first gay bar. We weren't really a community, we were just a bunch of individual gay people who managed to find each other. Sometimes we were just lesbians or just gay men, and more often than not, the two groups did not intermingle. Much of the time we were separated and some of the time, we were separatists. We didn't know better. There were girl bars and boy bars, but I don't remember any T's or Q's or B's. With the exception of my own biological sisters, I don't recall having any straight allies.

I sat next to a young woman in her twenties last night. I asked her to explain her definition of "queer" to me. She said, "Queer just means different. Some queers are gay, some are gender fluid, some aren't sure exactly what they are, but they're not straight. Queer is just different, you know, whatever. We just want whatever to be OK."

I looked around the room and I saw some gay, some straight, some old, some young, some feminine, some masculine, some gender fluid and some taking gender and bending it like a pretzel. We were all together in one room.

At my table was a woman who looked to me to be in her late fifties or early sixties. I assumed she was straight. She seemed straight. She looked straight. I even worried a bit when I told a mildly racy gay joke at the table, wondering if I had made her uncomfortable.

My girlfriend who had been seated next to that woman, corrected me this morning. It seems that my new straight friend had been married for a long time, divorced her husband and was now in a relationship with her former neighbor, another woman who had also divorced her husband. They did not leave their husbands to be together. That happened later. It just happened. So, I was wrong. Whatever.

For me, last night was an awakening. For the first time I understood what the queer community was. There were sixty of us in that room. Some straight, some gay, some whatever. We were all a little bit queer and it was delightful.

Forgive this old gay coot for not understanding. I'm a bit set in my ways but I am trying. "I am not so old that what my students teach, I cannot learn". That was the last line in a poem my English teacher wrote for me thirty years ago. I now understand fully what it means.

On a personal note, I have grown to love you wonderful Queersighted readers. That's not easy for an old gay coot to say. You have made me laugh (and think) with your comments. God knows, a good laugh is hard to find. I look forward to getting to know you all better. Now, off with you, dagnabit!
(The Fairy Lady) Susan Norfleet

Organized religion has perpetrated an outrageous and profoundly hurtful con. And an intimidated American media and a conservative mental health community has played the classic enabler role in underpinning this con leading the American people to actually think there is such a thing as an ex-gay. Ex-gays are simply men and women who have been enabled to return to the destructive and soul-crushing world of the Closet. The only difference is that this "reborn" closet is made of glass and allows us all to look in with horror.

Case in point: an obviously damaged and pathologically troubled Charlene Cothran finds herself standing before an adoring crowd of bigots and fundamentalist fanatics at a recent Americans For Truth About Homosexuality fund-raising banquet proclaiming that "the born gay claim is a vicious lie." Ms. Cothran, overwhelmed by a pathologically homophobic society succumbed to the self-delusions and self-loathing of the closet, albeit a glass closet , and now lives in a world of ignorance and dead souls.

Speaking before this modern version of a Ku Klux Klan rally, born again into the Closet, Ms. Cothran betrayed and humiliated her spiritual core and humanity.

Coming out was not easy for me. Unlike many of my gay and lesbian friends, I was not born gay. In fact, it's pretty clear from photos and old home movies, I was an "in your face" heterosexual until about the age of ten. I wore dresses. Lots of dresses, some pink, with ruffles and matching shoes. I don't want to scare anyone, but there's a photo of me in a bonnet holding a purse. I was also a graduate of Miss Mary Ellen's School of Dance.

But that all changed in the summer of my tenth birthday. I was attending the birthday party of a close "hetero" friend at the local country club and had taken a break from swimming to get a snack from the snack bar. Unbeknowst to me, some ass named Timmy, yelled "Last one in the pool is a queer!" and I didn't hear it. By the time I figured out what was going on, it was too late. I had already eaten.

"Never go into the pool after you've eaten!" My mother had drilled this into me from birth. Needless to say, I was the last one in the pool. Cursed forever (and beyond: see bible, gay, hell) to the sordid an unseemly "gay lifestyle" of tea dances, disco infernos, hot girl-on-girl sex, exciting travel, two-income households and perpetual lesbian chicness. I was queer and the whole thing was clearly my mother's fault.

Kenneth Hill is the best friend I've never met. This may come as a shock to you, but Kenny and I have never met face to face, exchanged bodily fluids or gotten so drunk that we vomited on each other's cashmere sweaters. And yet, I've fallen in BFF with him. It's one of those superficial man things you hear about: A friendship based on personality, wit, wisdom and intellectual capacity instead of the way women form relationships--based on physical beauty, a firm ass and the size of the genitals.

Kenny and I rarely find ourselves in disagreement but when we do, a lively debate ensues. Recently we've locked horns on two issues: the role of sissies in the fight for gay civil rights and The Advocates handling of Hillary. Kenny and I went into a public "he said/she said" mode. (Kenny is "she") and some of our readers reacted badly to this. We were both grieved to hear that. Kenny did not post his rebuttals--as wrongheaded as they were--without my permission. Not all issues are black and white and an open and robust public debate is a good thing.

So we're going to debate each other as often as we disagree--which isn't that often. Of course, sometimes we'll argue over an issue just because we're both into that and it makes us hard.

So here we go, Kenny. Bring it on!

Scroll down, or click to QueerSighted Debates Folsom Street and Public Displays of Sexuality.

Editor's Note: In case you missed Richard Rothstein's explanation of the debates he and I have, which sometimes play out here, check out: Trapped Between a Rock and a Hard Place.

Now, please join us after the jump for

Like a lot of New York (and, presumably, non-New York) gays, I make sure to grab a copy of The Sunday New York Times every week. Sure, I like to get my helping of real news, but I admit that I immediately thumb may way to three specific sections: Arts & Leisure, Real Estate and Styles.

Arts & Leisure because it usually has some terrific theatre articles. Real Estate for "The Hunt" column (ahem, in which I was once featured). And The Styles Section for the wedding announcements.

Yes I know, the wedding announcements are way-gay. But since the paper started listing gay and lesbian unions in August 2002, I've been interested in reading about my own brothers' and sisters' love stories. Sure, I admit I also occasionally look for old boyfriends who might have since gotten hitched.

And when I read about the marriage between Jeffery and Matthew (below), I got pretty giddy.

Immodestly denying his well-earned place in the pantheon of gay icons, Adam Sandler has been promoting the international release of Chuck & Larry with claims that he's ready to fight for gay rights. We haven't had a gay icon champion of this stature since...well...since He-Man!

Last night he told the Mexico City media that he would like to work alongside gay-rights groups after starring in this year's "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry." He then upchucked 35 body shots of Jose Cuervo.

In Mexico with co-star Kevin James to promote the film's opening in theaters here, Sandler told a news conference: "If I can help anybody in any way, I certainly would."

But AP reports that the 41-year-old comedian stopped short of calling himself a potential gay icon.

"I don't think that's gonna happen, dude, certainly not," Sandler said. "If I was a gay man, I wouldn't want me to represent" the gay community.

Are you sure about that Adam? Such humility! The gay community is desperate for a guy who can deliver a good fart joke.

I can easily imagine you up there with Judy Garland, Elton John and Larry Kramer. Which reminds me, Adam, you should give Mr. Kramer a call. I hear he wants to raise his fist in gratitude for the work you did to dispel homophobia and gay stereotypes in Chuck & Larry.

Sandler even admitted to the Associated Press that he rather enjoyed his first on camera gay kiss. It was "not bad. He was clean, and he seemed to brush his teeth and all that," Sandler said.

Well, if that doesn't qualify Mr. Sandler for gay icon status, I don't know what will. Oh, Adam, you had me at your brilliant portrayal of satyrism.

And I thought I was bad! When I poke the beast I try to keep a safe distance between myself and the fangs. Not so the leather queens of San Francisco, a much sturdier lot than I, who have taken it upon themselves to push the neo-conservative Christians right off the cliff.

Apparently the organizers of San Francisco's Folsom Street Fair--the gayest street fair since the Founder's Day Arts & Crafts Festival in Sodom-- have come up with the nifty idea that we can win this religious war by simply making right-wing Christian heads explode en masse.

The nation's most famous leather queens have have come up with their very own understanding of the Da Vinci code and "reinterpreted" The Last Supper as an extreme gay S&M banquet. The bread and wine representing Christ's broken body and life-giving blood are replaced with naughty sex toys.

One ultra right wing Christian group released the following statement just last night:

I spend so much time bashing bigots, morons and fools that I often overlook the heroes among us. But Travis Price and David Shepherd, two straight high school seniors from a Canadian high school in Halifax are getting my newly created Queer Heroes Award of 2007--even thought the year is far from over.

Travis and David witnessed bullies going after a gay 9th grader who apparently was "flaunting" his homosexuality by wearing a pink polo shirt to school.

Our heroes, Travis and David were furious and decided to do something about it.

"I just figured enough was enough," Shepherd told a reporter for Canadian national television. So David and Travis went to a nearby discount store and bought 50 pink shirts, including tank tops, to wear to school the next day.

Then the two boys went online to e-mail classmates to get them on board with their anti-bullying crusade that they dubbed a "sea of pink." A tsunami of support poured in the next day. Not only were dozens of students outfitted with the discount tees and tanks, but hundreds of students showed up wearing their own pink clothes, some head-to-toe. In fact, the school estimates that more than half of the school's 830 students wore pink in support of the 9th grader.

"I am not a crook, " Richard Nixon's immortal and clearly dishonest claim which has now been updated with "I am not a lesbian" thanks to an irresponsible and attention-hungry journalist who abused the situation and backed Hillary Clinton into a corner.

Of course Nixon's claim was laughable while Hillary forced into this statement is appalling. I won't tell you what I am not, but I will tell you that I am disgusted with our community. I am disgusted with The Advocate and I am disgusted with every gay blog that has reported and fueled this nonsense as if it's news or, worse yet, as if it's funny

This is simply another manifestation of homophobia, gay self-destruction and good old-fashioned sexism.

The mainstream press of course is having a field day. From CNN to USA Today to international news wire services, the message on Hillary is that she's claiming that she's not a lesbian. The Advocate has thrown her to the wolves and done some damage to her dignity and standing. Thank you notes must be pouring in from the Republican National Committee.

Thanks to this ridiculous question, thanks to The Advocate stooping to a perversion of journalism on a Bill O'Reilly level, this poor woman now has to endure days if not weeks of being cast as a closeted lesbian defending herself from judgmental eyes--because that's how many straight Americans will read this crap. And it's not O'Reilly's fault, it's ours.

So what's behind the rumor that The Advocate felt was worthy of headlines? Hillary's husband has a cheatin' heart. Hillary is a powerful and goal oriented woman. Hillary likes pants suits. Now if that ain't journalism, I don't know what is.

What's next from the gay press? "Do you shave your pubes?" This kind of journalism diminishes Hillary Clinton, diminishes America and very much diminishes the gay community. It did not, as some have said, take courage for The Advocate to ask such a stupid question, it took a profound lack of judgment and a lust for readership. Unlike certain closeted public figures, there is not now and has never been any evidence to suggest that Hillary is gay. One might have asked her how she feels about the use of rumor-mongering in politics; that would have been a legitimate question.

Up until a few days ago--like most of America--you likely hadn't heard of the Jena Six. But thanks to a college student driven Internet campaign which led to massive demonstrations that drew high profile African American activists, the Jena Six controversy has seized the headlines--bringing racism and injustice front and center in every newspaper and on every television and computer monitor in America.

Apparently, despite arguments to the contrary from many gay advocates, activism is not only alive and well in America--as it did in the 60s and the 70s, it produces results. Tens of thousands of Americans converging on one small town in Louisiana from all over the United States accomplished in a few hours what our gay advocates have failed to accomplish over a time frame of many years.

Consider that days before a possible ENDA vote, ENDA is not on the front pages of any newspapers or among the headlines on CNN, ABC, NBC or CBS. ENDA may represent a solution to a gross injustice and outrage that is more than equal to the issues surrounding the Jena Six, but, to put it bluntly, as has been the case since the 1950s, blacks do it better, much better. You can be damned sure that if ENDA concerned basic civil rights for African Americans, there would have been a tent city within shouting distance of Capital Hill until justice was done.

As evidenced by Stonewall, we had it right in the 60s and 70s, but we were sidetracked by AIDS in the 80s, and then further distracted by an obsession with visibility in the 90s and now, well into the first decade of a new century, we've clearly lost our taste for community and activism and seem content to be lapdogs to Democrats.

This past Sunday night, Fox ratings hit unprecedented lows as viewers stayed away from the 59th Primetime Emmy Awards after learning that the majority of nominees and scheduled presenters were going to boycott FOX. FOX, as you know, is owned by Rupert Murdoch, one of the nation's leading financial supporters of the effort to ban gay marriage, deny civil rights to gay Americans and to promote homophobia in schools, at sporting events and throughout our culture. Murdoch's viciously anti-gay New York Post editorial cartoons have taken on an almost mythic status.

With millions of multi-billionaire Murdoch's dollars supporting anti-gay organizations coupled with FOXNews' relentless anti-gay propaganda, openly gay nominees, T.R. Knight, Neil Patrick Harris, Sir Ian McKellen, Ugly Betty producers Silvio Horta and Marco Pennette, House executive producer Bryan Singer, Heroes producer Bryan Fuller and Tony Bennett Special director Rob Marshall led the walk out along with hundreds of other passionately pro-gay straight film and TV stars and industry executives.

Speaking from a podium at the star-studded demonstration held just outside the nearly empty theater, Sir Ian McKellen raised his angry fist in the air and told the world media: "With the vote for ENDA only days away, it would be unconscionable to participate in this Fox telecast which would pour millions of dollars into the pockets of one this nation's leading foes of gay rights."

And then there's this version. And, no, I won't give up. Hypocrisy is rampant in America and we're as guilty of it as the Republicans.

There are sissies and there are sissies. Me, I miss me some old time sissies. My issue is with the new time sissies and it's the same issue I have with many in our community, sissies and otherwise. Visibility is not power. Visibility is not equality. Old time sissies knew this and in his soon to be famous "sissy" post, Kenny rightfully reminded us that they were--and I emphasize "were"--our front line warriors. But new time sissies are a problem and this is where Kenny and I are having an itsy bitsy little spat.

Kenny is much more of idealist than I. I am a marketing communications professional. I see a problem and immediately focus on the solution, the goal, the objectives, the strategy and the tactics. And what I see in Kenny's position on sissies is truth but an issue--a very grand and very important issue--and an issue that in 2007 is one of several carts that are being put before the horse.

Perhaps I'm finally losing my sense of humor. A number of popular and famous sissies are working my last nerve. I am most certainly running out of patience. I've been waiting for gay civil rights for 40 years--ever since Congress responded to mass demonstrations and protests from angry blacks and furious feminists and finally legislated bans against discrimination in employment, housing, education and services. Of course we were left out and today, blind to the realities of activism, our advocates write polite letters, emails and treatises and nothing happens--and even worse very few of us even seem to care. The mostly "out" among us live in urban cocoons and selfishly ignore reality.

I'm what many Americans refer to as a bleeding heart liberal. I have all the earmarks: a gay Jewish New Yorker, a baby boomer, grew up on the Lower East Side. I'm a true cliche. But like the American Civil Liberties Union--the Vatican City of bleeding heart liberals--I find it difficult--almost impossible--to vary my standards according to an individual's politics, philosophy or standing in society. Justice is justice. Rights are rights. And the Constitution is the Constitution.

And it is for this reason that I find myself increasingly troubled by the extremely hostile and contemptuous treatment and discussion of ex-gays and the ex-gay movement within the gay community. "We" tend to treat these individuals and their organizations as the religious, political and cultural enemy of truth and constitutional law. And I'm proposing that there's something very wrong with that.

America has come a very long way over the past few decades with regard to our views on mental illness. We understand that mental and physical diseases and disorders are equally legitimate and that both need to be recognized and treated. Patients should not be seen as pariahs or "guilty" as was once the case with Leprosy and AIDS. In fact medical science has made tremendous strides in recent years in the treatment of many mental conditions; we are gaining more and more understanding of the underlying environmental, chemical and hormonal imbalances that drive many psychiatric disorders.