Knowledge is power and history is knowledge. Some have compared Obama to Jack Kennedy, but Obama's latest passion for ex-gay gospel singers teaches us otherwise. Ironically, I can't find a reason to be upset about pro-gay Obama going all pro-ex-gay, willing to shake his gospel booty next to a profoundly misguided and psychologically-damaged gay man. The gay blogosphere has been all atwitter with this scandal, Obama creatively waffles, now caught between gays and evangelicals--a moronic dilemma of his own amateurish making. But for me the real concern is his Forty Days of Faith all God all the time magical mystery tour. And when you consider that the only thing that stands between queers and equality is all faith, all the time, it would seem that we're now seeing, as Ms. Lauper would say, Obama's "true colors." The other thing that concerns me is how we defile the legacy of Jack Kennedy. Students of history would understand the true cowardice of Obama and most other candidates as well. You can read the truth here. But start with this video and consider the real meaning of American, constitution-centric leadership. Dry and boring history teaches us that there is another way, a better way and that our current crop of Democrats is sadly lacking.

Hold the presses! This just in from the Crazy Christian Right: Kindness is good and Homosexuals are kind. I didn't make this up. It's right on their website, Dingbats For Truth About Homosexuality. Who would know more about homosexuality and truth than these fine folks? They spend nearly all their free time studying us. That's right, in between exorcisms, church pot-lucks, snake-handling and giving away their kid's college tuition to shyster TV evangelists with meth addictions, they are on "the homo" like white on rice. But, they're not just upset about our beloved Dumbledore ...

"The movement is afoot to include positive portrayals of homosexuals and the transgendered in all textbooks from kindergarten on up. I have no objections to textbooks including the important invention or discovery of a homosexual or transgender person so long as their homosexuality or transgenderism is not mentioned."

That's pretty Christian of the Dingbats for Truth. They don't mind that homosexuals are important inventors and scientists, they just don't want anyone to know about it. They won't tell you, but I will. There are so many queer scientists in Los Angeles, they have they're own website, Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Scientists.

Guess what? We're not just good at science! And the Dingbats for Truth aren't the only Christians on the block!

Organized religion has perpetrated an outrageous and profoundly hurtful con. And an intimidated American media and a conservative mental health community has played the classic enabler role in underpinning this con leading the American people to actually think there is such a thing as an ex-gay. Ex-gays are simply men and women who have been enabled to return to the destructive and soul-crushing world of the Closet. The only difference is that this "reborn" closet is made of glass and allows us all to look in with horror.

Case in point: an obviously damaged and pathologically troubled Charlene Cothran finds herself standing before an adoring crowd of bigots and fundamentalist fanatics at a recent Americans For Truth About Homosexuality fund-raising banquet proclaiming that "the born gay claim is a vicious lie." Ms. Cothran, overwhelmed by a pathologically homophobic society succumbed to the self-delusions and self-loathing of the closet, albeit a glass closet , and now lives in a world of ignorance and dead souls.

Speaking before this modern version of a Ku Klux Klan rally, born again into the Closet, Ms. Cothran betrayed and humiliated her spiritual core and humanity.

After perusing some of the blog comments of late, I feel we have been woefully inattentive to the many irrational religious fanatics and the just plain fanatically stupid, who visit us here at Queersighted. This is supposed to be a place of inclusion and tolerance, and yet no one has formally embraced them into our little queer enclave. We didn't exactly invite you, but since you're here, welcome to the neighborhood!






Of course I'm not going to hand out sex toys, that's just crude. People who like to perch on the moral high ground, don't want anything to do with sex toys! I'm talking about a Queer Welcome Wagon! The original Welcome Wagon was the marketing brainchild of Thomas Briggs, who borrowed the idea from the Conestoga wagons that greeted westward travelers with food and water. Instead of offering food and water, Mr. Briggs offered women an opportunity to welcome new residents to their neighborhoods with gift baskets and coupons donated by local businesses. Occasionally, a local car dealer would even offer a new car emblazoned with a company logo to a lucky new area homeowner.

Unlike those pesky spam penis enlargement emails we've all received over the years, Welcome Wagon always offered a warm and personal touch, a smiling face and a gift basket. I know I would be much more receptive to penis enlargement supplements if they were being offered to me by smiling neighbor ladies bearing gift baskets.

For some of you--the more naive and neo-natal in particular--it may be difficult to imagine how a deranged medical quack and psychopathic bigot can successfully position himself as an expert science witness in the American court system and an expert science source for many of our mainstream journalists. But such is the case with Paul Cameron of the Family Research Institute. Every credible professional organization you can imagine has either condemned or officially listed the FRI as a hate group and pseudo-scientific sham organization. Does this matter to Evangelicals, our courts or many state and federal politicians? Nope, not a bit. Apparently in Bush America, the only credentials you need to be considered an expert are homophobia and a passion for dishonesty in the name of Jesus.

It's one of those quirky little things about Bush America--the don't-waste-my-time-with-facts society.

For those of you familiar with "Dr." Cameron's despicable antics, he's back, like a recurring cancer. For those of you who have never heard of Paul Cameron, Mr. Cameron is to medicine and science what salmonella is to chicken eggs and human morbidity and mortality.

His latest and possibly most disgusting act of perversion? He's pushing another pathologically delusional pseudo-scientific study that demonstrates (to complete idiots) that male homosexual teachers are most likely to sexually abuse their students. At least that's what Cameron and his colleagues want the media, the courts and the legislatures to believe so they fabricate research, twist numbers, ignore facts and publish their own pseudo-medical journals--and courts and politicians eat it all up like insatiable maggots in a dumpster. (I'm having trouble disguising my rage and disgust and I hate writing about this, but you need to know and be armed when somebody tosses this mud in your face.)

The Central Christian Church of Wichita, Kansas, is so excited by its upcoming Clay Aiken Christmas concert that the former American Idol contestant gets an enthusiastic mention on the front page of the church's website. "Clay has an incredible voice as well as a heart to use it for the Lord," the site declares. "You won't want to miss this exceptional concert!"

However, the National Enquirer (c'mon, you read it in the checkout line too!) and a TV station--KSN, the NBC affiliate in Wichita--have managed to obtain a very interesting letter that the church drafted in July. Apparently, in a preemptive move, the church prepared a document that denies that Clay Aiken is gay. You see, just in case anybody inquiried about the singer's sexuality, they would have a letter ready to go in order to assuage people's fears--because, you know, when people decide whether to go to a concert or not, they need to be assured that the performer is not a homo. I mean, people don't want to catch a gay singer's cooties.... WHAT?!

According to KSN, the letter affirms Aiken's Christian beliefs, states that "he doesn't drink, smoke, swear, or womanize," and cites a Rolling Stone article in which Aiken clearly asserts that he is not gay. Whew! Crisis averted!

Enough is enough. At the risk of upsetting my tens of fans, I can no longer lie. Io non sono omosessuale! I'm not gay! There. Basta. It's out. Finally.

I've never been gay. And under no circumstances could I imagine ever being gay in the future. It's not a choice I would make. Why would anyone? It's unnatural and almost beyond reasonable comprehension.

Yes, indeed, I have spent the last 18 years of my life researching the gay lifestyle in order to better understand it. And in the interests of credible and indisputable research, I have worked diligently until reaching a statistically significant sampling--approximately 1,500 men with whom I have engaged in just about every permutation and variation of gay sex imaginable. Science be served. I have swallowed. I have explored every orifice available and allowed the same to be done to me. I have rope burns, customized leather goods and imported German sex toys that have set me back some serious Euros. (As an aside, rimming chairs can be converted into nifty lawn ornaments once you've completed your research. Sadly, I don't have a lawn.)

So, there you have it. I'm not gay.

I had fully intended to continue my research as a faux fag for many years to come, but I've been inspired by the Roman Catholic Church to come out and stand proud as an openly straight man researching gay sex so that I can better help real gay men and women walk into the light. After all, if you haven't waged the battle of teeth and breath control, how can you possibly understand the awfulness of homosexuality?

Some will kick around the new British hate crime proposal as a stellar violation of free speech and freedom of religion, but in an evolved society based on reason and responsibility, when language is used to incite violence, persecution and oppression of a class of people, it is as damaging as sticks and stones no matter how you cut it.

Under a new proposed British law, a number of United States politicians, including members of Congress, prominent members of the American clergy and certain members of the United States military would be subject to up to 7 years of imprisonment. Fred Phelps would probably end up with a dozen consecutive life sentences.

The British government has announced its intention to make it a crime to incite hatred because of a person's sexual orientation or perceived sexual orientation. The offense will carry a maximum sentence of seven years.

Last night the British Justice Secretary outlined the plans to members of parliament. The details of the measure are yet to be finalized but the Secretary will insert a clause to create the offense when the Criminal Justice and Immigration Bill, which had its second reading last night, reaches committee stage.

Under the proposal it would be considered a crime to incite hatred against homosexual, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered and heterosexual people. The Secretary explained to the London Times, "It is a measure of how far we have come as a society in the past ten years that we are now appalled by hatred and invective directed at people on the basis of their sexuality. It is time for the law to recognize this."

Is there hope for America? Is there hope for us? If pollsters and TIME magazine are to be believed the answer is yes. According to a recent article in America's leading news magazine, since Christianity launched its singular war on homosexuality and politics, this old-time religion is slipping quickly in popularity. TIME cites three interesting measures: A dramatic rise in the number of Americans describing themselves as non-Christians, a general feeling in the American population that Christianity is driven by hate, hypocrisy and a troubling urge to meddle in secular politics, and the rapid rise of a belief among young Christians that homophobia is simply wrong and, well, un-Christian.

TIME reports: "Not only has the decline in non-Christians' regard for Christianity been severe, but...results also show a rapid increase in the number of people describing themselves as non-Christian. One reason may be that the study used a stricter definition of "Christian" that applied to only 73% of Americans. Still [the researcher] claims that however defined, the number of non-Christians is growing with each succeeding generation: His study found that 23% of Americans over 61 were non-Christians; 27% among people ages 42-60; and 40% among 16-29 year olds. Younger Christians, he concludes, are therefore likely to live in an environment where two out of every five of their peers is not a Christian.

"Churchgoers of the same age share several of the non-Christians' complaints about Christianity. For instance, 80% of the Christians polled picked "anti-homosexual" as a negative adjective describing Christianity today. And the view of 85% of non-Christians aged 16-29 that present day Christianity is "hypocritical - saying one thing doing another," was, in fact, shared by 52% of Christians of the same age. Fifty percent found their own faith "too involved in politics." Forty-four percent found it "confusing."

With any luck, Congress, as poll-obsessed as it is, will take heed of these trends sooner rather than later and move forward on ENDA with votes informed by the Constitution and reality rather than by a moronic and hateful reading of a supernatural history of the ancient world.

Of course, we're not really talking about Christianity here; we're talking about American provincialism, bigotry, ignorance and big business. led by megalomaniacal greedy villains who have hijacked Christianity and turned it into something rather dark. foul and profit-driven. James Dobson, for example, reported a 2006 tax-exempt income of $138 million. Pat Robertson enjoyed a 2006 tax-exempt income of $459 million.

And, if TIME magazine is right, people are finally starting to notice, Non-Christian and Christian alike. Hallelujah.

I had fully intended to write a light, fluffy little piece today called "Celebrities Who Made Me Gay". Unfortunately, while skimming the Concerned Church-Ladies of America web site, I spotted a truly crazy article by Pat Boone. I'm drawn to crazy Christians, like a magpie to tin foil.

I liked Pat Boone when I was a kid. He seemed so sweet and caring, so hairless, so pretty, so polite. Budding lesbians love those qualities in a boy. Pat was the 1960's equivalent to the boy band member who is described as the "sweet one". The "sweet one", as you all know, is the one who eventually "comes out" on the cover of People Magazine. Of course, Pat's not gay, but we have other things in common. He played Ann-Margret's love interest in the movie State Fair. I played Ann-Margret's love interest in my head.



When Ann-Margret sang How Lovely To Be A Woman Like Me, in the movie Bye Bye Birdie, I really wanted to believe she meant "like me". She's wearing jeans, a sweater and a baseball cap, for god's sake! If I had ever heard one rumor about Ann-Margaret being a lesbian, I would have been the first comedian to come out on national television, and you would all be surfing my web site, aftersusan.com, right now. Ann-Margaret has always been hip. She dated Elvis, she sang a duet with Tina Turner and my favorite ... she was the kitten in the movie, Kitten With a Whip. What was I talking about? Oh ... Pat Boone.

Again, Pat Boone is not gay. Don't read anything into the fact that he hawks Merv Griffin albums on his website. Honestly, who knew Merv Griffin was gay? No one. If there was ever any doubt about Pat's sexuality or his sanity, he cleared it up by releasing an album in 1997 entitled, No More Mr. Nice Guy. Pat changed his "sweet one" image forever by doing bad covers of heavy metal songs and dressing in leather on the album cover. Yes, nothing says "straight" like a bare chest, a leather vest and jewelry. Somewhere out there is a gay art director who is still laughing his ass off.

After almost 2,000 years of religious wars, religious persecution and religion-driven genocide, Europe has at long last made religion subservient to human rights, reason and constitutional law. Modern European nations embrace religious freedom, atheism and everything in between, but mostly they do not allow any of it to inform or impede reason and the fruits of humanism and enlightenment. The rising tide of full equality for gay Europeans, protection from discrimination and persecution, and the increasing legalization of same sex marriage throughout Western Europe is the result. Much of the same can also be said for Canada, although Canada is still somewhat more subject to the American condition than our brethren across the pond.

On a hopeful note, the United States was late to ending slavery and women's suffrage, lagging behind in both to most of our European friends. So from that perspective, one can be hopeful when it comes to gay rights.

Ironically, America was partly founded by men and women fleeing religious persecution (at least that's the popular myth and mostly not true--even with regard to the Puritans) and yet today, unlike Europe, we live in a nation where law and culture is subservient to religious fundamentalism. We are as much like our Islamic enemies as we are like our European allies. Equality, the Constitutional right to pursue life, liberty and happiness and our right to love and form families is denied to us despite our Constitution and simply because of a fundamentalist and profoundly childish view of the Bible.

In yesterday's post, Christian "Think" Tank: Isn't That Special, I pleaded with the Concerned Church-ladies of America to "lay off the church casseroles", as I find that gross obesity often gets in the way of a perfectly good message of intolerance. In response to my post, a clever reader proposed we have a winner-take-all bake off pitting "any Newfangled 'Gay' church casserole up against the 'think tank's' bland wombly pasta, mushroom soup and mayo with bread crumb topping church casserole." I immediately challenged the reader to send me a "gay casserole" recipe and was delighted when I received this response.

Gay Casserole Recipe - (From reader Red Mojo)
From the kitchen of: Rupaul Prudhomme
Fucille (pronounced: foo-silly) Boiled strained and restrained.
A couple of hot tamales made with kd langastinos
A layer of whipped goat cheese (preferably from a Billy Elliot goat)
A Degeneres portion of Condi Rice and Beans playfully tossed into a blender and pureed.
Sprinkle with Wry bread crumbs and lightly dust with sifted fairy lady powder.
Bake until completely steamed and slightly sparkley on top.
Serve with a side of passion fruit compote over
Chutney popcorn.





More proof that the creative gay mind never lingers. Thank you Josh, Peter and Justin, the Fairy Tails Cooking Queens. I'd love to play your lesbian mother in a sit-com called My Three Gay Sons. A special thanks to Red Mojo, whoever you are! Perhaps we should start our own Queer Qookbook. As with obese, intolerant church-ladies, there's no shortage of creative gay minds, so send in your recipes and I will continue to post the best of the best. Cheerio Queerios and Bone appètit!

The Concerned Church-ladies of America are here to help us. God help us! When I was growing up, concerned church ladies stayed politely within their own realm of expertise: passing judgment on other people's Sunday-go-to-meetin' clothes and scaring children about masturbation. Sadly, they've branched out. The Church ladies have discovered something scarier than masturbation ... (ENDA) the "Employment Non-Discrimination Act" and in the tolerant and well-meaning spirit of Sister Mary Ignatius, they are here to explain it all for you!

"A vote is expected soon on H.R. 2015, the so-called "Employment Non-Discrimination Act" (ENDA). If passed, the bill would grant special employment rights and protected minority status to individuals who define themselves based upon chosen sexual behaviors and others who - among other things - suffer from clinical self-delusion".

Well now, I see the church-ladies have been practicing creative writing! For those of you who don't speak "church-lady", please allow me translate the highlighted portions of the above text for you.

"so-called" means that's actually what it's called but they don't like it one bit because it makes sense and seems fair.
"special employment rights" means "employment rights". The inclusion of the word "special" is bible code for "queer".
"chosen sexual behaviors" means we're really straight, but have chosen a "deviant lifestyle" just to upset them and to gain access to the many "special" rights and privileges that go along with being gay, when you're not.
"clinical self-delusion" I had to look this one up. There are two definitions: (1) pertaining to church ladies who try to explain legislation. (2) "crazy", (see Concerned Women For America).

I was beside myself. I was

And I thought I was bad! When I poke the beast I try to keep a safe distance between myself and the fangs. Not so the leather queens of San Francisco, a much sturdier lot than I, who have taken it upon themselves to push the neo-conservative Christians right off the cliff.

Apparently the organizers of San Francisco's Folsom Street Fair--the gayest street fair since the Founder's Day Arts & Crafts Festival in Sodom-- have come up with the nifty idea that we can win this religious war by simply making right-wing Christian heads explode en masse.

The nation's most famous leather queens have have come up with their very own understanding of the Da Vinci code and "reinterpreted" The Last Supper as an extreme gay S&M banquet. The bread and wine representing Christ's broken body and life-giving blood are replaced with naughty sex toys.

One ultra right wing Christian group released the following statement just last night: