I have always envied people who seemed to know where they belonged. I've had more addresses and phone numbers than Republicans have sex scandals. Change has always been exciting to me; an opportunity, a carnival ride, an adventure. An old friend of mine once said, "The greatest challenge associated with aging is not morbidity and mortality; it's novelty. More precisely it's the hunger for novelty, a hunger that grows increasingly difficult to satisfy." And no, that wasn't a quote from Portia de Rossi. She's not old. That was my friend Richard "the lionhearted" Rothstein.

I don't know if Ellen and Portia are breaking up, but I do know that menopause is not what makes couples stop having sex. I know this because I went for a long time without sex and it had nothing to do with wrestling the menopause. It had to do with being in a bad relationship. The other thing I know is that this is my last post on Queersighted. Oh well, change happens. Sometimes we choose change and sometimes change chooses us. Either way, change is opportunity and opportunity is a gift. Wasn't it Glinda the Good Witch who said that? It was either Glinda or Dr. Phil, I can't remember.

During my short stay here in the mary old land of Oz, I've had the good fortune to work with talented, wonderful, fearless writers, who have inspired me, challenged me, made me laugh uncontrollably, and yes, occasionally worked my last good nerve. I wouldn't trade that for the world. It's been an absolute blast. I didn't get to know them all, but the ones I knew, I loved. Who wouldn't give up the safety and security of Kansas to hang out with a Scarecrow, a Tin Man and a Lion for awhile?

And nobody does Spooky with the camp and cool of The Puppini Sisters. This is from their new CD out in February of 2008. Boo!

According to Entertainment Weekly, the big gay movie that changed everything apparently changed nothing.

What a shocker! You remember Brokeback, don't you? Hollywood's first gay romance, written by a heterosexual, directed by a heterosexual, starring heterosexuals...I'm sorry, what was gay about it? Well, now, after two years of waiting for the Hollywood revolution, it turns out that it ain't coming. Kind of like ENDA and the Hate Crime Bill--lot's of talk but no action. Now that's gay! Read more here.

Of course, we can still be grateful to Brokeback Mountain for giving a homophobic America a new and even more fun way to disparage the queer community. Nothing says loser like gay Brokeback.

Hold the presses! This just in from the Crazy Christian Right: Kindness is good and Homosexuals are kind. I didn't make this up. It's right on their website, Dingbats For Truth About Homosexuality. Who would know more about homosexuality and truth than these fine folks? They spend nearly all their free time studying us. That's right, in between exorcisms, church pot-lucks, snake-handling and giving away their kid's college tuition to shyster TV evangelists with meth addictions, they are on "the homo" like white on rice. But, they're not just upset about our beloved Dumbledore ...

"The movement is afoot to include positive portrayals of homosexuals and the transgendered in all textbooks from kindergarten on up. I have no objections to textbooks including the important invention or discovery of a homosexual or transgender person so long as their homosexuality or transgenderism is not mentioned."

That's pretty Christian of the Dingbats for Truth. They don't mind that homosexuals are important inventors and scientists, they just don't want anyone to know about it. They won't tell you, but I will. There are so many queer scientists in Los Angeles, they have they're own website, Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Scientists.

Guess what? We're not just good at science! And the Dingbats for Truth aren't the only Christians on the block!

Let's lighten things up on this fine Friday, shall we? There's so much to love this week!

Don't you love it when the military accidentally recruits gays by placing more than 8,000 job listings on a gay networking website? "Whoops!" doesn't quite capture the sound of high-ranking officials crapping their pants when they found this out.

Don't you love it that Lance Bass wanted Britney Spears to be his fag hag? But nooooo, they haven't talked since that fateful night when Lancey-poo invited Britney to his bed--only to clobber her by coming out.

Don't you love it that Lance wants Justin Timberlake to be gay as much as we all do? "We thought Justin was gay because he told us he wanted to do a gay part in a movie," Lance told GQ magazine. I don't know about you, but that still gives me hope. Maybe Justin can team up with Daniel Radcliffe, who wants to go gay too! Who would top? Who would bottom? The possibilities are endless!

The greatest challenge associated with aging is not morbidity and mortality; it's novelty. More precisely it's the hunger for novelty, a hunger that grows increasingly difficult to satisfy. And when I was asked to review a new Logo film, Coffee Date, which premiered just this past Sunday, I found it very difficult to enjoy and report on the film with an open mind. How many times have I endured this particular story line? Coffee Date poses the prickly question: Can a heterosexual WASPy All-American hunk find love and companionship with a homosexual Latino stud sporting the perfect six-pack? It's the latest and trendy incarnation of the classic buddy movie merged with a social-consciousness raising unlikely romantic couple faced with top-of-mind social and political challenges.

Can rich Roman Catholic Bridget find love with poor Jewish Bernie? Can anal compulsive Felix survive life with Oscar the uber-slob? Can liberal Katherine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy accept their snow white daughter's marriage to intensely African-American Sidney Poitier? Can straight All-American computer programmer Todd and steamy gay Latin lover hair stylist Kelly find love, friendship and sexual compatibility?

You know what I hate? I hate the fact that my age sometimes prevents me from voicing my opinion about subjects some think I'm too old to have an opinion about. There's a little voice in my head that says, "no one is going to listen to you about this because you sound like an old coot". Well, you know what? I am an old coot. I'm an old gay coot! And don't you dare write in to tell me that I should have said I'm an old Lesbian Coot! Dagnabbit, I like the word gay. Gay Gay Gay Gay Gaaaaaaaay!

What in tarnation is a "tween" and where's the little knucklehead who left this comment? "I have no problem with older gay people, have some in my family that I love dearly. However, I guess I don't have the revolutionary fire y'all did." Listen to me whippersnapper ... I'll give you a revolutionary fire! I have newspapers in my house older than you! You will have a problem when I come over to Prince's blog with a gay history book and a switch.

I'm such an old gay coot, I don't mind being lumped in with gay men. I'm not a sassinfrassin' separatist! I like gay men. Especially old cantankerous gay men, like Richard Rothstein. Between us, we are 106 years old. We're old enough to be your gay grandparents. In dog years, we're 742 years old. That means were old enough to be your dead gay ancestors, so shut your pie holes for a minute and listen to your elders!

After perusing some of the blog comments of late, I feel we have been woefully inattentive to the many irrational religious fanatics and the just plain fanatically stupid, who visit us here at Queersighted. This is supposed to be a place of inclusion and tolerance, and yet no one has formally embraced them into our little queer enclave. We didn't exactly invite you, but since you're here, welcome to the neighborhood!






Of course I'm not going to hand out sex toys, that's just crude. People who like to perch on the moral high ground, don't want anything to do with sex toys! I'm talking about a Queer Welcome Wagon! The original Welcome Wagon was the marketing brainchild of Thomas Briggs, who borrowed the idea from the Conestoga wagons that greeted westward travelers with food and water. Instead of offering food and water, Mr. Briggs offered women an opportunity to welcome new residents to their neighborhoods with gift baskets and coupons donated by local businesses. Occasionally, a local car dealer would even offer a new car emblazoned with a company logo to a lucky new area homeowner.

Unlike those pesky spam penis enlargement emails we've all received over the years, Welcome Wagon always offered a warm and personal touch, a smiling face and a gift basket. I know I would be much more receptive to penis enlargement supplements if they were being offered to me by smiling neighbor ladies bearing gift baskets.

For some of you--the more naive and neo-natal in particular--it may be difficult to imagine how a deranged medical quack and psychopathic bigot can successfully position himself as an expert science witness in the American court system and an expert science source for many of our mainstream journalists. But such is the case with Paul Cameron of the Family Research Institute. Every credible professional organization you can imagine has either condemned or officially listed the FRI as a hate group and pseudo-scientific sham organization. Does this matter to Evangelicals, our courts or many state and federal politicians? Nope, not a bit. Apparently in Bush America, the only credentials you need to be considered an expert are homophobia and a passion for dishonesty in the name of Jesus.

It's one of those quirky little things about Bush America--the don't-waste-my-time-with-facts society.

For those of you familiar with "Dr." Cameron's despicable antics, he's back, like a recurring cancer. For those of you who have never heard of Paul Cameron, Mr. Cameron is to medicine and science what salmonella is to chicken eggs and human morbidity and mortality.

His latest and possibly most disgusting act of perversion? He's pushing another pathologically delusional pseudo-scientific study that demonstrates (to complete idiots) that male homosexual teachers are most likely to sexually abuse their students. At least that's what Cameron and his colleagues want the media, the courts and the legislatures to believe so they fabricate research, twist numbers, ignore facts and publish their own pseudo-medical journals--and courts and politicians eat it all up like insatiable maggots in a dumpster. (I'm having trouble disguising my rage and disgust and I hate writing about this, but you need to know and be armed when somebody tosses this mud in your face.)

Closing arguments have wrapped, the jury's in and it's time for our second installment of Top Ten Worst Gay Jobs. This time we're tackling the "rough and tumble 4 ya" world of politics. Richard and I had some tough choices to make, but with the professionalism of David Vitter at a whore house, we got in there, did our business, and came away satisfied - that we picked the Top Ten Worst Gay Jobs in Politics.



Sure, we had a few disagreements. For example, while being a member of Larry Craig's family could most certainly be called a job, it's not a job in the true sense of the word. Richard fought hard for "Nancy Pelosi's hair stylist", which I did not find funny because I'm a lesbian with no sense of style for hair or anything else. Plus he ruled out Hilary Clinton's cleavage consultant.

I honestly thought "Barney Frank's Trans-gender Community Outreach Director", was a winner, until I found out that it was Richard's actual job. Anyway, here they are, not necessarily in order of worst-ness.

1. Congressional House Page
2. Diversity Coordinator for Pace-Dobson '08
3. Condi's eHarmony Representative
4. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's Minister of the Census
5. Director of Seating at the American Institute of Bisexuality's Policy Dinner
6. Larry Craig's Communications Director
7. Men's Bathroom Attendant at the Republican National Convention
8. Comedy Writer for the Radical Lesbian Separatist Movement
9. Development Coordinator for the Mark Foley Junior Varsity Scholarship Fund
10. Mary Cheney's Manny

Note from Richard: Poor Susan and her hot flashes; they can be so blinding. I am not Barney Frank's Trans-Gender Community Outreach Director. I'm his sibilant coach.

The battle royale between Barney Frank and the majority of gay advocacy groups is likely providing delicious entertainment for the Christian right. Nothing pleases an enemy more than dissension in the ranks.--well maybe the one thing that pleases our enemies more is to see the ENDA debate suddenly focused on the complex transgender issue. It's a diversion and a misstep made in hell. With an ENDA vote already hanging by a thread we should be massing in front of Congress demanding an end to the outrage of minority discrimination in 21st Century America, instead gay advocacy groups across the nation are now taking to the streets to demand that ENDA be defeated.

Exclusion of transgender Americans from ENDA is heartbreaking, but Frank and a few others argue that casualties are an inevitable part of any war as are sacrifices and compromises. Victory is expensive--and not in terms of the dollars endlessly demanded by our generally ineffective gay advocacy groups. And compromise is essential to real progress, not extremism. Ironically, so many of us of have accepted necessary phased progress and compromises in the fight for same sex marriage, an effort that has almost exhaused the resources of gay advocay groups in the service of a very tiny minority within they gay community. But on an issue that profoundly matters to every single one of us, hundreds of gay advocacy groups around the nation are prepared to sabotage 30 years of work in the name of "all or nothing."

Until today, I've stood silent on the ENDA transgender issue because I've caused enough of a ruckus over these past few months with my belief that growing visibility dominated by gay stereotypes has done and continues to do serious damage to our fight for civil rights. But Barney Frank's October 11 press conference demands that I flap my jaws on this issue.

If you're going to f**k with a queer, the last place you'd want to do it is in the gayest of all gayborhoods and just a swish, pirouette and grand plie around the corner from Stonewall Inn. You'd have to have one serious death wish, n'est-ce pas? Oh, and, of course, you want to do it during Pride.

By now, most of us are well versed on the case of Khadijah Farmer, a lesbian, who on June 24, 2007, after the Pride Parade down 5th Avenue, couldn't resist one of the world-famous frozen magaritas in 14 flavors differentes served in the 24 oz souvenir Hurricane Glass that gives the Caliente Cab Company restaurant about its only reason for staying in business.

At some point the lady in question entered the women's restroom. Caliente's bouncer burst in and threw her and her friends out of the restaurant because he thought she looked too masculine to be in the women's restroom. Even photo ID confirming her gender failed to dissuade the bouncer from giving Farmer the old 86. Farmer, of course, is suing for discrimination. And although there are no federal laws to cover this kind of service denial and harassment, this is New York City and boy are there laws and girl are they clear.

The New York City Human Rights Law prohibits discrimination in public accommodations on the basis of gender - including appearance, behavior, and expression - and sexual orientation. Similarly, the New York State Human Rights Law prohibits discrimination in public accommodations on the basis of sex and sexual orientation.

Who would have or could have imagined a lawsuit for sexual orientation discrimination in 2007 in Greenwich Village, New York City? Caliente, welcome to the neighborhood and Ms. Farmer's lawyers.

But the latest development in the story is enough to caliente the cockles of my heart. A collaboration of five activist groups, the Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund, the Transgender Health Initiative of New York, the Queer Justice League, Gays and Lesbians of Bushwick Empowered and Make The Road New York are pooling their resources and members to stage what I hope will be a gay activist's dream and a homophobe's nightmare. Yes, you ivory tower advocates, a real, honest-to-goodness take to the streets demonstration--and just around the corner from Stonewall.

Tuesday, October 16, 5:30 P.M. And if you attend because of this post, seek me out and I'll give you a shot from my flask. (Happy Hour is Happy Hour.)

I grew up in North Carolina, the daughter of a beloved father who had attended Duke University. I went to the Duke basketball games every weekend as a child and to this day, I watch Duke basketball whenever there is a televised game. Part of loving Duke is hating the University of North Carolina and North Carolina State University. Hate is a strong word, but It's what we do in the Tar Heel State. Remember Jesse Helms?

I mention my upbringing because the Log Cabin Republicans have launched an ad campaign against Mitt Romney, and when I saw the ad, I felt like I was watching a UNC vs NC State basketball game. I was oddly compelled to root for someone, and yet, I don't care for either of them.



I first saw Log Cabin's 30 second anti-Romney ad last week in Tim Grieve's "Killing him with kindness" post on salon.com. The ad is also available for viewing on the Log Cabin Republican's website. (www.ivelostmygaymind.com)

So as we were all heading off for a lovely autumnal weekend, a very confused Terminator ran off to the local 7/ll for a quart of milk, a copy of Variety, some Depends and to veto the California same sex marriage bill. One can't be completely sure that he meant to do that, but Arnie's not terribly clever at multi-tasking.

I would never be so rude as to call the governor of California an "idiot". However, I don't agree with other gay voices who are this morning calling him a hypocrite and a bigot simply because he vetoed the gay marriage bill passed by the California State Legislature.

Clearly The Terminator is confused--which is very different from being an "idiot." The Republican party has insisted that the decision on same sex marriage should not rest with activist judges in the courts because the United States Constitution rests law-making power with elected representatives and not via popular vote and it was a popular vote five years ago in California that determined that the constitution was wrong and that civil rights and equality did not apply to gay Americans but under the constitution law-making power and determinations on civil rights rests with the legislatures which actually then passed a law approving same sex marriage but it is, as the Constitution says, up to the courts to determine the constitutionality of laws so The Terminator vetoed the same sex law constitutionally passed by the state legislature because he wants the determination to be made by the courts even though his party says the courts shouldn't be making such decisions rather such decisions should be made by lawmakers as outlined in the constitution.

Are you confused? Well, imagine how a brain ravaged by decades of steroids and fantasy role-playing both on the silver screen and with that insatiable Kennedy girl, gets all bewitched, bothered and bewildered in attempts to understand same sex marriage and the constitution.

Arnie is not an idiot, but how can he be anything other than terribly confused? However, his party, the Republicans--you've heard of them, I suspect? They're appearing every other Thursday in the men's room at Chippendales on the Vegas Strip--are counting on the notion that we're all idiots. And for the most part they seem to be right. The majority of Americans are idiots. What other explanation can there be for the widespread acceptance of the convoluted perverse logic that the GOP keeps using to block equality for all Americans?

Now you know how I want to die. That will be the headline on the front page of The New York Post, on October 23, 2048, the morning after my 100th birthday celebratory orgy. Expect that the story will report that I was found with a diversity of men by age, ethnicity and fetish. My preference would be death by drowning on dry land (take a moment to think that through,) but simple suffocation under the weight of it all is an acceptable alternative. This may seem ghoulish to many of you. Get over it. Death is inevitable and death by orgy is certainly preferable to most of the alternatives.

I used to think it was an unrealistic goal, but according to new research published in the prestigious New England Journal of Medicine, elderly and even extremely elderly Americans are much more sexually active than anyone imagined.

Among those 75-85, 38% of men and 17% of women reported sexual activity in the past year,

A urologist from Maimonides Medical Center in Brooklyn, N.Y., says men remain "sexually interested and active" into their 80s and 90s.

Estimates suggest more than 40 million men worldwide have been able to continue sexual activity into their later years because of medications such as Viagra, Levitra or Cialis.

According to the New England Journal of Medicine publication, more than a quarter of those up to age 85 reported having sex the previous year. Deb Choma, a nurse administrator for 17 years at an assisted-living center in Salisbury, Vt. told USA Today that seven years ago she found herself grappling with the realities of senior sex. First, there was the granddaughter who found her grandmother in a compromising pose with a gentleman resident. Then a 1 a.m. phone call alerted her to staff members finding that a female visitor had stayed over in an older male resident's room. They were discovered in the buff.